tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post2705861285079005733..comments2024-03-27T21:50:33.178-04:00Comments on Betrayed Wives' Club: Counselling: Do You Want Penance? Or Healing?Ellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-33739511765824812722015-04-24T13:36:33.932-04:002015-04-24T13:36:33.932-04:00Ali,
Read also this (if you haven't already): ...Ali,<br />Read also this (if you haven't already): We need to tell our stories...and we need to hear, as long as we need to hear it, just how sorry he is:<br />http://betrayedwivesclub.blogspot.ca/2014/04/my-letter-to-husbands-just-talk-about.htmlEllehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-14922731584119974762015-04-24T12:53:30.660-04:002015-04-24T12:53:30.660-04:00I have been frequenting this blog ever since Septe...I have been frequenting this blog ever since September (2014) when I found out I had been betrayed by my husband. We are now seven months since then and lashes out in anger every time I ask him questions regarding the betrayals because he feels we should "be over it" or "passed this" by now. He gets frustrated and responds that he has "already answered these questions over and over" yet I feel like I haven't gotten any understanding of the digressions. He's told me over and over that he will do anything to heal things and will not consider divorce as an option for us - yet why is transparency met with so much combativeness, I wonder. <br /><br />Finding this particular entry was seriously a stroke of luck (or fate?) and a breath of fresh air. It validates my feelings and the belief I hold that there is nothing wrong with asking questions, wanting answers and understanding, and having true transparency. I'm not sure what healing or healed will look like for us or what it will take for things to click for us... but at least I'm not alone and left with my fears. Thank you, again, from the bottom of my heart for sharing so much of yourself and your experience. It has been my saving grace in so many moments.Alihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03476033462621809611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-81237457367675488202013-12-27T17:20:58.186-05:002013-12-27T17:20:58.186-05:00MBS,
She kept reminding us when our responses wer...MBS,<br /><br />She kept reminding us when our responses were more about family-of-origin stuff than each other. It's amazing how often we respond to our partner as if they are our parent and attribute all sorts of motives and manipulations that have nothing to do with now and a whole lot to do with when we were kids and powerless.<br />But mostly she reminds my husband that his responses to me when I need reassurance or I need to talk about what happened as rooted in his own shame. She points out that I'm not looking to hurt him but am mostly looking for truth or reassurance. It's so helpful to have a third party bring both of us back to our goal of a better marriage…rather than spiralling into the same old fights/hurts.<br />Does that answer your question?<br /><br />ElleEllehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-87446501264381803862013-12-26T10:58:49.624-05:002013-12-26T10:58:49.624-05:00So what did your counselor do to help you heal fro...So what did your counselor do to help you heal from betrayal?MBShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10168863416317700184noreply@blogger.com