tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post4741623783429465047..comments2024-03-17T12:13:33.772-04:00Comments on Betrayed Wives' Club: Bending Towards the Sun: When Is It Time to Leave?Ellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-31986460941614127962013-10-14T15:27:24.457-04:002013-10-14T15:27:24.457-04:00I generally encourage people unsure of whether to ...I generally encourage people unsure of whether to stay/go to determine if this was a good guy who did a bad thing...or a bad guy. I think you've made it clear that he's just a bad guy. Manipulative, selfish, controlling. <br />If you haven't already, get to a lawyer and determine exactly what you should be doing to ensure that you get a fair settlement. Don't let him know what you're doing...but set the stage so that you can leave whenever you're ready. And then ask yourself what you're waiting for. Exactly. For him to cheat again? For him to start his mind games with your daughter? You need to show her how a woman treats herself with respect. I hope you will.<br /><br />ElleEllehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-4182591532991818722013-10-14T13:56:17.712-04:002013-10-14T13:56:17.712-04:00This gives me hope. I didn't walk out when I f...This gives me hope. I didn't walk out when I first found out. I was confused and scared that I won't be able to make it on my own. The second time it was logistics, had to find a place closer to my daughter's school and my work (were they just excuses?? I won't know). It was also his manipulation. He cried, hurt himself, threatened to take away my child, fight for custody, leave me with no money..etc etc...<br /><br />I still want to separate. He is a very selfish guy who only does things his way, when and what he wants. He's very good with the extended family though, charming with a sense of humor. They all love him, and am sure will find fault with me!<br /><br />I hope I can find the courage to take a decision and bend towards the sun!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-5653109371281183462013-03-19T13:25:37.960-04:002013-03-19T13:25:37.960-04:00I understand...completely. I just add, for me, tha...I understand...completely. I just add, for me, that not so much as partial loss of shared care of children, but fear of my children to be exposed to the immorality and poor parenting that will abound if he (the troll) should (and would, thanks to our terrible divorce system of no-fault) have lone access to them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-22005238030714707712011-02-03T21:35:45.071-05:002011-02-03T21:35:45.071-05:00I'm glad to hear re. work. Hopefully that'...I'm glad to hear re. work. Hopefully that'll help you regain some strength. Parenting is incredibly important work, of course, but there' something to be said for a job in which we don't have to wait decades for the rewards. :)Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-32981708782349146502011-02-03T20:52:31.613-05:002011-02-03T20:52:31.613-05:00My spirit has not be crushed. Not totally. I know ...My spirit has not be crushed. Not totally. I know you have said it before in your post- about being an optimist. I too have that trait. I find myself just hoping or waiting or trying to make things better or looking on the brite side of what I have left (when I haven't sunk into a massive low that is, this seriously affects you).<br />I have started retraining for going back to work and I feel a remarkable lightening of my mood from this.Martihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02466370118453904316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-58781940755642631822011-01-21T20:59:25.661-05:002011-01-21T20:59:25.661-05:00Marti,
I am just so sorry. I hope he isn't ki...Marti,<br /><br />I am just so sorry. I hope he isn't killing your spirit with such horrible comments. The man sounds completely heartless. Why does he stay if he doesn't care for you? And are you sure he wants shared custody?Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-82208059536355391522011-01-21T14:00:42.761-05:002011-01-21T14:00:42.761-05:00Children/ finances here. I feel certain I'm ju...Children/ finances here. I feel certain I'm just delaying the inevitable.<br /><br />Without any game playing I asked my husband to leave the house last night (as in went crazy after he told me he didn't care for me- yet again).<br />It took an hour of me feeling quite happy with my decision and looking forward to the future without him... that I realised I had forgotten that no matter how much protection I have given myself (Financial agreements, Lawyers, and freezing assets so he can't use/sell them) I can do nothing to prevent the partial loss of my children to shared care.<br />I put every one in the car and found him and he came home.<br />Back to my reality again.Martihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02466370118453904316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-27420020211574279662011-01-20T14:07:26.459-05:002011-01-20T14:07:26.459-05:00It is apparent to me now, but was never even a tho...It is apparent to me now, but was never even a thought before, that I would never have been my best self with him. <br />His affair was evidence of a moral defect... a defect he has come to embrace rather than mask in his dealings with me since we separated. He continues to blame me, make excuses and tell anyone and everyone that he is the victim. And he is a bad person... I made so many excuses for him during our marriage and always gave him the benefit of the doubt... but the truth is that he as always been a liar and manipulator. The little respect that I once received (or imagined) is no more. He is mean and deluded. <br />I am leaning into my family and God... 3 months in, I still feel like I'm buried beneath the cold hard ground, but with their love and constant support, I am hopeful that one day I will grow again.amberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01601945413982412138noreply@blogger.com