tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post8183480867690360442..comments2024-03-17T12:13:33.772-04:00Comments on Betrayed Wives' Club: You're Getting Warmer...or NotEllehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-65275962081407800432011-09-01T22:18:12.227-04:002011-09-01T22:18:12.227-04:00Thank-you! Though our circumstances often vary, th...Thank-you! Though our circumstances often vary, the feelings we go through are eerily similar. Yet they're hard to discuss with friends who simply can't imagine. Glad you found our club...sorry you had to. :{<br />I look forward to your comments – the more we all share, the less alone (and crazy!) we'll feel.<br />ElleEllehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-51886662160164326582011-09-01T18:18:35.694-04:002011-09-01T18:18:35.694-04:00Hi Elle - I just found your blog and have read eve...Hi Elle - I just found your blog and have read every single post within 2 days! You capture the horrific experience of infidelity with eloquence, humor, optimism, realism, & humor. Now 7+ months into this nightmare, I felt & feel so much of what & how you've written about, from the hysterical bonding to the masochistic obsession about the OW, to the shock about a passifist (me) feeling violent (toward him) to the revelation that I as well as my relationship might end up in a much healthier place after working through this unusual-yet-all-too-common mess. It's like you're reading my mind (well, a much more succinct version of my mind)! Heading into the long US Labor Day weekend, I wanted to thank you for the courage to share yourself -- your true self -- with us. I look forward to more posts and to joining in this really important dialogue!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-78690197547939746412011-08-21T12:54:07.228-04:002011-08-21T12:54:07.228-04:00Hysterical bonding is one of those weird post-infi...Hysterical bonding is one of those weird post-infidelity things that seems counter-intuitive and, therefore, confuses a lot of us. And I think there are a number of reasons for it, not least of which is the comfort of physical intimacy in the midst of emotional pain.<br />In my case, hysterical bonding gave way to a period of abstinence – once the "hysterical" part was over, I had a really hard time keeping the OW out of my head when I was in bed, which pretty much killed any desire. To be honest, four years later, I still struggle with it and my husband and I continue to work through it. Whether we'll achieve physical intimacy remains to be seen. Some days I'm hopeful...others not so much. Factor in other issues, such as his use of anti-depressants (which affects desire), my peri-menopause, death of my mother, life with three busy kids...well, you get the idea. I think each of us follows a different path back to "normal"...if we get there at all. Normal will forever be altered, I think, but with healing I think we can achieve a better "normal."Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-78301617041910079572011-08-20T15:32:34.721-04:002011-08-20T15:32:34.721-04:00Hello,
I haven't read very much of this blog...Hello, <br /><br />I haven't read very much of this blog, but I was very intrigued by your post on "hysterical bonding". I would have never expected to think a large amount of women have an insatiable urge for sex with their husband so soon after discovering his adultery. <br /><br />I wanted to ask you, after this period of "hysterical bonding" was over was they any break whatsoever before you and your husband returned to a more or less normal sex life?Mahoney (the keyboard warrior)noreply@blogger.com