tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post903499945847762237..comments2024-03-19T08:32:06.169-04:00Comments on Betrayed Wives' Club: Open Letter to the Other WomanEllehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comBlogger167125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-57280041752786304992023-10-05T17:01:37.397-04:002023-10-05T17:01:37.397-04:00I promise you she's not worth it. No Contact g...I promise you she's not worth it. No Contact goes for us, too. Too many of these OW thrive on the chaos and the contact. Starve her of that oxygen. Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-91905532530019484382023-10-04T20:44:43.462-04:002023-10-04T20:44:43.462-04:00Reading this again today as I needed to and how I ...Reading this again today as I needed to and how I want to forward this link to her or print it and put it in her letter box. <br />Today I want revenge. Thank you for writing this because on days like today it helps me rise above rather than reach out. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-68688205486559107502023-09-27T04:51:48.962-04:002023-09-27T04:51:48.962-04:00Im just learning now. The womans last name is one ...Im just learning now. The womans last name is one letter off from Tramp…fitting. He is lying and gaslighting. He messages her constantly on messenger, lied to my face saying he was talking to his son but i heard her voice. Shes a month younger than me but looks like a crispy old hag thats 10 years older. I need advice. Im disabled. I have a condition that leaves me bed ridden. He says he doesnt love me anymore he hates me…because i got sick. Im devastated. I love him so much, weve been together for 12 years. Because of my heakth i truly NEED him and he says hes only keeping me here for convenience. Please. Please tell me theres a way to win him back. I cannt lose him, he is the love of my life. I don’t THINK they have met up, just messaged, but i saw one of the messages today..i love you to her. Ive been crying ever since. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-45336919589611989642023-02-19T16:44:10.151-05:002023-02-19T16:44:10.151-05:00My husband cheated with a co-worker it ruined me. ...My husband cheated with a co-worker it ruined me. What is odd his mistress had been cheated on by her husband. She knew it would ruin me and put me into depression and worse. My relationship with my husband will never be the same I will never trust him again. I stayed because we are raising our grandkids and the last thing they needed was to feel abandoned again. Please for the wife and kids of that man leave them alone. Leave him alone and move on Victoria Atherton. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-19670839287854386992021-07-17T00:48:40.151-04:002021-07-17T00:48:40.151-04:00Elle,
Oh... my... goodness. This is pure gold. I c...Elle,<br />Oh... my... goodness. This is pure gold. I cannot think of a more perfect burn. I myself have written "the letter" that you'd never actually send but recently I've been struggling with getting her out of my mind. I think it's the justice piece for me. I feel like she gets to go on with no repercussions or empathy for completely destroying someone's life. My H has gotten his fair share of my wrath so, don't think I don't understand that it takes two. But, I think it's very easy for us to assume that they could give 2 shits about us.<br /><br />RaeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-5626260079102086642018-02-19T19:25:31.069-05:002018-02-19T19:25:31.069-05:00I really can’t be mad at the current OW or any of ...I really can’t be mad at the current OW or any of the OW. My WH tells so many lies - I don’t think she knows the real story. She probably doesn’t know we are still married and that he was here with me and the kids - that I am even still in the story.<br /><br />I would want to write her. To tell her that he needs serious help and that she will get hurt eventually. That he is lying about everything and don’t believe anything he says or promises he makes. He has 4 kids, a house falling apart, bills, a bad credit rating, college tuition and a pending Separation- he can’t promise you shit.. But I won’t. I know that would be a big mistake and just make me look stupid. Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12671234699405675686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-74654306868762960082017-04-21T22:29:28.453-04:002017-04-21T22:29:28.453-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.MERhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07931419877057993912noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-56978063948747155502017-03-06T13:06:14.967-05:002017-03-06T13:06:14.967-05:00Maiden,
The impulse to have her know your pain is ...Maiden,<br />The impulse to have her know your pain is legitimate and so many of us feel it. And some OW do have some sort of reckoning. But, I suspect, many more just carry on with this ridiculous sense of entitlement. They're the type who always find someone else to blame for their unhappiness. Their boss, their kids, the immigrants, their spouse, their friend. Always, always someone else's fault. <br />The best we can do is wash our hands of them. I love your DNR analogy. Let them, metaphorically, die. You are in the process of being reborn. Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-30765789817974235842017-03-06T11:29:22.651-05:002017-03-06T11:29:22.651-05:00Elle,I have frequented your site for the last 6 mo...Elle,I have frequented your site for the last 6 months.....that's as far as I am on this journey to new existence. My time in the BWC has been healing beyond belief. Sometimes its like they are sobbing on my bathroom floor with me. I just today saw this letter and I am sitting here now with tears streaming down my face. Because it's like you know me. You know my heart, my pain. Like you KNOW it. You say every single thing in this letter that I wish I could say to the OW. Even though you wrote this over 6 years ago and my journey has not been quite 6 months it's like you pulled these words from my heart. I wish I could find a way for her to read it. For her to feel the power of these words and the weight of what her actions and her "happy" moments and "love" truly were. That she knowingly willingly hurt someone and it made her happy. That she was doing this to a family, to children. <br /><br />I debated sending her a link in an email but decided against it. No contact is like a DNR...majorly important and in fact knkwing that has stopped me from sending many a text or nasty gram letting that C U Next Tuesday exactly what I think of her. <br /><br />I am working on myself and letting this wound start to heal. I have a little, and I've also ripped the scab off a few times and fallen back down. The constant nagging fear that's it's not over or that she is going to show up in a few months with a forever reason to be in his life scares me to the point of insane nightmares. ( As far as I know that's not the case..he swears it isn't that precautions were taken...but....it scares the shit out of me that as soon as I get myself ok enough to like enjoy life a little bit it's all going to come crashing down on me in the form of a unwanted little brat. I can't even look at babies it makes me have a panic attack...or need to vomit..my kids are older thank goodness) <br /><br />I'm here on the blog reading and learning and just breathing. I hope somehow the universe, karma, whatever u want to call it lets her know and feel the pain she caused and somehow maybe she will read this letter. Because it's raw and it's real. Actions have very real consequences. It won't be by my hand.....but I hope someday she gets it...understands the impact her little fling had. That she changed my life, my kids lives. That she hurt me so badly I'll never be the same. And that she lays sobbing on her bathroom floor for months because it hurts to realize that she is such a lowlife person....I hope it hurts so much she can't move. Can't breathe. And then maybe she will get up and go into the world and some how make a postitive impact to balance out her wrongs. Red in her ledger. I hope she looks in the mirror and is horrified at her own reflection because she sees herself for what she really is, not the fantasy she created with lies and deceit. That she lives her truth. <br /><br />Today I look in the mirror and don't hate myself. I know it wasn't my fault or even anything I did. I know I'm a good person and a far better one than she is or will ever in her life be. I can hold my head high and know I've done nothing to cause anyone any of this pain. I know my ledger is clear. I'm living my truth and I'm not afraid of it or ashamed of it. <br /><br />Thanks for knowing what I needed to say Elle. Thanks for providing this space of healing. <br /><br />Maiden of the Shieldnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-37289987713169548952016-11-10T00:48:07.590-05:002016-11-10T00:48:07.590-05:00My two favorite parts of that comment from the OW ...My two favorite parts of that comment from the OW are "He discarded me like a piece of trash by the wayside." and "He was just slumming it with me for a while." because truer words can never be spoken and those come directly from the whore's mouth. <br /><br />OW are trash. That is why they are treated as such. When you treat yourself like garbage that is how others will treat you as well.<br /><br />My h is a fool and made the WORST decision of his life when he got involved with the OW and he knows it and will freely admit it. But when you are the OW and you knowingly get involved with a married man you have no one to blame but yourself. <br /><br />My h told me he thought he was in love with her, she was pregnant and he thought they were going to ride off into the sunset together. Guess what happened when she miscarried! DUMPED! See how much they love you OW? He may have stepped out on me, but at least in the end I meant something to him other than just a convenient place to stick his wayward dick. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-9780689535879156502016-06-28T12:51:00.191-04:002016-06-28T12:51:00.191-04:00I am 3+ years since d-day, still flip off my ex-be...I am 3+ years since d-day, still flip off my ex-best friend when I see her, have very little compassion for her breast cancer, and very rarely use her name....she is "the wh@re"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-86538589079361880922016-04-25T12:52:39.908-04:002016-04-25T12:52:39.908-04:00Wow. You really pulled back the curtain on affair...Wow. You really pulled back the curtain on affairs and showed it all! Anyone even considering an affair should read it...and reconsider. Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-29824239917853053762016-04-24T10:32:15.877-04:002016-04-24T10:32:15.877-04:00Thanks for all the love and support here. I hope m...Thanks for all the love and support here. I hope my letter helps someone else as much as it helped me. Hugs to all my sisters.Still Standingnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-76991334499600734342016-04-24T10:31:25.945-04:002016-04-24T10:31:25.945-04:00Still Standing Letter part 4
Don’t you think you ...Still Standing Letter part 4<br /><br />Don’t you think you deserve better? You deserve a chance to be in a relationship with a person who can be wholly yours. You deserve a chance to heal and find yourself and learn to love yourself and learn that you don’t have to keep making the same mistakes and same bad choices over and over. Whatever it is that has hurt you, wherever you think you have failed or been unlovable, see that. Sit with those feelings for a while. Grieve. Explore why you keep choosing men who will hurt you and leave you. Think about what you were looking for in this affair and decide if you can provide those things for yourself instead. There are no knights in shining armor. No man can meet needs for you when you don’t love yourself. Draw some new boundaries and get some help and give yourself a chance at a better future. I tell you this because I don’t hate you, at least not all the time. I sincerely pity you and the hurts that brought you to such a place. If I sound angry, I am. I am resentful of the immense selfishness and weakness that drives you both. I am stronger than you both and know that although I hurt now, I am sure there is an amazing future out there for me. I pray that you will find the strength to choose a brighter future for yourself.<br />And finally, I am grateful. Grateful that I have had a chance to really know myself, my strength and my own worth. I am grateful that you are weak and so lost in your own narrative of hurt and abandonment that you are running away. Again. Good riddance. Run away and find a better person inside of yourself.<br />Still Standingnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-38403181153346672802016-04-24T10:31:06.395-04:002016-04-24T10:31:06.395-04:00Still standing letter part 3
Fourth, affairs and ...Still standing letter part 3<br /><br />Fourth, affairs and affair love are by their nature an act of selfishness and entitlement. You love how the person makes you feel about you. And you mistake the person for those feelings. You may feel like your love was special and unlike anything anyone else has ever felt, built on honesty and respect. We’ve already seen that there is no honesty in an affair, not even between you and him. Respect is non-existent. Is it respectful for you both to compromise your values to be together? Was it respectful of him to keep you a secret? To not tell me what was going on before fuc5!ng you? Is it respectful for him to ask you to take on, eternally, the role of villain in order to be with him? You would be. Imagine meeting my children for the first time. Do you think you are equipped to parent and manage the anger of a smart teen girl, only twelve years younger than you? Or handle the high anxiety you triggered in a sensitive ADHD kid (who is about the same age you were when he was born)? You are barely equipped to deal with your own issues, let alone be a positive influence to two kids whose lives you have upended. And his family. His mom and sisters. Do you think they’d readily accept you because they just want him to be happy? Think again. They’d tolerate you. They’d be invariable polite but they’d never love you. How is asking you to be that person, to live with that, respectful of you? It is purely selfish. And you’d always have to share him. You’d never have him all to yourself. I would always be there for holidays, for college planning, weekly kid swap, weddings, alimony, and child support, whatever. I would never be out of your life. Chances are H and I would still be friends. And you’d get pretty resentful of all of that over time. Resentful of having to share money and time with me and the kids. Is it respectful of anyone to ask that of you? Is it respectful of you to expect him to throw away his marriage and family and a lifetime of trials and wonders and shared history for you? Or to give up his relationship with his kids for you? He’s already struggling with the tarnished view his daughter has of him. He’d also in some ways lose his son too. Do you think he wouldn’t eventually be resentful of what he had given up for you? How do you think he’ll feel when at some point I have someone new in my life and this man will now be a part of his children’s life. And when he is in the trenches working to support us all and has no time for you, do you think you are strong enough to handle that? Given that you are already running away from this crisis, I highly doubt it. <br />Still Standingnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-89570826811987192562016-04-24T10:30:10.406-04:002016-04-24T10:30:10.406-04:00Still Standing letter Part 2
Second, most married...Still Standing letter Part 2<br /><br />Second, most married cheaters do not leave their spouses for the affair partner, less than 10 % in fact. Of those that do, more than 75% end up in divorce. These statistics are pretty dismal, but indicative of the false bottom of this kind of relationship. Know that the emotional baggage you both bring in would have killed the relationship not long after that magic of the affair and new “love” had worn off. His habit of emotional distance would build a self-feeding loop with your intense need for attention and approval that would leave both of you feeling hurt and lonely. Your relationship would have to withstand the pressure of divorce, angry children and the pressure on him to support two households. I don’t think you have the legs for that. I think eventually you’d run away, because that is what it seems like you do when you’re faced with emotional pain. Or you would eventually have had to deal with being the betrayed, when he went outside your relationship to sooth his pain again.<br />Third, you may be hurt and angry and suffering and blame him for it. Take some power back for yourself and own your half of the responsibility. Yes H hurt you, promised you some kind of future together but you did this to yourself, too. You also did it to me and my family. You get to live with that until you can figure out how to fix what is wrong inside you. You chose to do this. He didn’t do this to you. You did this with him. You volunteered to lie and deceive, regardless of how you justified it to yourself. If you place all the blame and responsibility on H for your hurt, then give up any power and agency you may have had over your own life and dismal choices. You have no way to recover. But you do have the power. You can work on you and try to become a better person.<br />Still Standingnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-2331955190676041162016-04-24T10:28:54.388-04:002016-04-24T10:28:54.388-04:00Here's my letter to the OW. I will never give...Here's my letter to the OW. I will never give it to her, but I needed to write it out just to free the space in my head and confirm my own strength and character. Elle, you've written so many helpful, healing and inspiring things, you'll probably see some of your own words in here. They were so perfect and spot on, that it helped to claim those words for my own story and healing.<br />In my case the OW was a person he met at work, she was on the rebound from the end of a three year relationship. he was struggling with sex addiction, (long porn use and visiting massage parlors for three years leading up to his affair with her - not exactly a compliment to her...).<br /><br />Here is what I needed to tell her:<br />Dear Other Woman,<br />I know you have a name and I know what it is. I can’t bring myself to use it just like I can’t bring myself to forgive you. I do pity you and your suffering and that you may be going through this heartache alone or with people saying “what were you thinking” and all manner of accusatory or judgmental things. Society in general vilifies what you have done. Guess what? You deserve all of that. You probably have little love for yourself; are wallowing in shame and guilt. Shame is paralyzing, try and let it go. Guilt is good. It can sometimes help you to learn something new. You have my pity because you are so clearly broken, so clearly enmeshed in your own narrative of suffering, of being hurt and abandoned by the men you love, that you willingly participated in a relationship with a married man and the destruction of his family. You sacrificed your sense of self-worth, whatever shreds there were, and your own values to the attentions of a wounded, lonely man, who was not free to be yours. I will someday forgive you for my own good, but know I will never believe you deserve it. Just like I have forgiven the man who raped me so many years ago. I did that to free myself from the narrative of pain and suffering and not because he deserved it.<br />I tortured myself for a while, wondering what it was you had that I didn’t. I’ve done a lot of thinking and I’ve come to realize that you’ve got nothing I want. Being chosen as an affair partner is not a compliment. He chose you because you were available and weak enough to participate in something despicable. People who engage in affairs are no different than people who gamble secretly. Or drink. Or snort. Affairs are a distraction from real-life, a form of self-medication. A parallel world in which the rules don't apply. In H’s case, he was on some self-destructive path that I still don’t understand. After years of porn and massage parlors, sex was a drug and you became just another dealer. He’s not having trouble giving you up. He’s having trouble giving up the feeling that he is sexy and loveable and exciting and interesting. So now I know that you were willing to participate, to lie, to hurt, to deceive, just by being there. Nothing I want.<br />Some things you should know. First, know that a man who can lie, cheat and deceive his wife to be with you is also capable of lying to himself and to you. Whether by omission or intent, he has lied to you. He may have told you that I didn’t love him. This is false, even if he believed it through lies to himself or to justify his cheating. Why would he lie to himself about that? Because people who cheat need to justify their actions. He has been cheating on me off and on for years but I feel pretty sure he didn’t share that part of the story with you. This is important information for you to know since you were contemplating a future with this man. I also feel sure that when you and he had unprotected sex, he didn’t warn you about the potential risk for STD. That risk is very real. I feel sure that he didn’t tell you that he had sex with us both while your physical affair was still going on. Even without knowing these things, you would always worry that a man who can lie to his wife can lie to you too. You would ever fully be able to trust him.<br />Still Standingnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-9037441602130400902015-12-07T13:51:07.854-05:002015-12-07T13:51:07.854-05:00The Wife,
I'm so sorry for what you've gon...The Wife,<br />I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. We each need to walk our own path through this. I hope you realize your own worth. Frankly, you sound like a whole lot more of a catch than he does. Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-5652852977692106162015-12-05T10:03:43.994-05:002015-12-05T10:03:43.994-05:00My husband cheated on me 10 years ago, and they ha...My husband cheated on me 10 years ago, and they have a 9-year old son to prove it.What's worse is that if I count the months, I've just given birth to our youngest when theirs was conceived...It broke my heart, to bits and pieces...<br />But what shattered my soul is though I discovered the affair soon after it started, I knew about the child only 4 years ago...My husband, up to that time was still lying to me...through his teeth.<br />But it never crossed my mind to give up on our marriage, though I was working abroad most of the time, giving him the oppurtunities and the reasons to do it again and again.I am a Filipina nurse, and there is not much oppurtunity for a good-paying job to support my 4 kids at home.And between my husband and I, I do stand the better chance to land employment overseas where the pay is good.I threw all cautions in the air, I need to support my family.<br />in fairness to my husband, he did act and sound remorseful.He has been a good father, raising our kids well in my absence, juggling his time between the kids and his work, I don't think he still have the time for the OW and their child. Though I am still skeptical when he swore that he already ended the affair even before the child was born, I am giving him my "conditional trust",whatever that means...<br />Sometimes, my finger would also itch, to send the OW a letter, just one letter...but I think that it would further raise her confidence up...if it is not yet up the rafters...that she was able to snag a happily married,handsome and popular guy(yes, I do admit, my husband is quite a catch).<br />But sometimes I also want to chastise myself for my weakness, that I can't let my husband go.It did crossed my mind, a million times, to chase him out of the house and file for an annulment, but I just...can't.It would be cliche if I will say that I am staying on because of the kids...I love this man and I can't live without him, that is the whole sordid truth...<br />And he does treat me like a queen everytime I'm home...I'll enjoy that for now...<br />The Wifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12310983653640082689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-27087507418063709312015-11-23T17:26:44.688-05:002015-11-23T17:26:44.688-05:00Ignorance may be bliss, but your a dumbass to beli...Ignorance may be bliss, but your a dumbass to believe that they were sleeping in other beds. You're a true piece of (*$#&%)... because you OBVIOUSLY knew he was married. Yes, he is to blame, but so are you! You sure as hell wouldn't want that to be done to you. To call their children something, such as chubby, shows just how selfish and immature you are! You were probably just a piece of @$$. You deserve everything you got, so quit acting like you were so betrayed and innocent, because you were not!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-27952321533964137342015-11-23T14:39:04.482-05:002015-11-23T14:39:04.482-05:00Unknown,
Of course we are. And we know that. But j...Unknown,<br />Of course we are. And we know that. But just because our husbands clearly had their heads up their asses doesn't mean the affair partner isn't as morally compromised. The difference, of course, is that we have a history (and often a family) with our spouses so if they're willing to do the incredibly hard work of owning up to all the damage they've caused and to becoming people who deserve a second chance, then many of us are willing to extend that chance. The Other Woman, if she was aware that there was a family being betrayed, is best cut out of our lives like a cancer. Because, as you quote, "they don't care about the wives' feelings, they don't care about children or families... etc. etc."Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-69868949013633146052015-11-21T21:46:02.415-05:002015-11-21T21:46:02.415-05:00This never fails to amaze me. A cheated on wife (a...This never fails to amaze me. A cheated on wife (above) writes about the other woman:<br />"They don't care about the wives feelings, they don't care about children or families. They are just having fun and even in a lot of cases don't even care all that much for the one they are cheating with.<br />The wives and children register so little with them that they are as good as non existent."<br />Wake up! You are writing about your husband!<br />Trying to observehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09032151736571132497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-92178144084522572642015-10-13T11:38:45.438-04:002015-10-13T11:38:45.438-04:00It is so strange how things,work out... Update on ...It is so strange how things,work out... Update on the above... I actually left a message in Dara Allen's " other" box on facebook.....because, obviously we are not friends and that is,where the messages you leave someone go when that is the case.... She, as well as many others , I am sure, was not aware that she had a message in that format.... My message just stated how shocked I was that she,would contact my husband on his and,her office phone and get his new boss involved in trying to make home feel uncomfortable enough to join her for lunch, and how that I would share that she was a,serial adulterer with his and her boss, should she choose to press,the issue... I was just ranting at the apathetic, unremorseful slug that she was... Never expected her to even read or respond to the message. Well, I recently received a text from a man the she is/ was involved with.. Apparently, she had shown him her facebook page as an attempt to be an open book and prove her trustworthiness to him and he clicked on her other box of messages from me, read the message, took a picture of the conversation( one-sided, as it was..) and used my number, which I had left, asking her to call me, to contact me later to see what/ who he was really involved with... I was hesitant to speak with him, but eventually did.. He said that when he read the message, she pretended that she didn't know who I was, turned white, said it was spam.. But when he said he would call me, she of course didn't want him to do it! She never would answer questions that he had about my husband and her involvement with him. I made my husband explain that to him.. He sounded exasperated, it sounded like they had been "dating" for years. He said he just needed closure. Hope he was able to find some...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-91394340128614661602015-09-24T16:18:22.657-04:002015-09-24T16:18:22.657-04:00I was the other woman. He told me he was divorced....I was the other woman. He told me he was divorced. He lied. It was a long distance relationship, he controlled absolutely everything when I came into town. I thought I had met my soul mate. I didn't find out the truth for a year and a half, when I finally had rearranged my life to be with this lying, cheating worthless toad... All along he was sleeping in the same bed with his wife, playing "Happy family of five"... Don't blame the other woman unless you know her side of the story. I didn't choose this, I was tricked and betrayed as surely as his wife. Those poor children.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-22573917560945735022015-08-13T12:27:56.743-04:002015-08-13T12:27:56.743-04:00I think the hardest thing to comprehend after find...I think the hardest thing to comprehend after finding out about affairs ( plural!) is getting it through your head that someone other than the one you took vows with, has treated you with no respect or regard. I guess it is human nature to naively react and respond almost as a child would. You think," what have I ever done to that person, that she would choose to hurt me this way"? I struggled with those feelings after having been lied to repeatedly and digging for the last bit of information. I decided to call coworkers that my husband had shared having," inappropriate conversations and contact with. At the beginning I sadly thought that two adult people could communicate honestly about how they feel. I thought that if I made myself clear in how their actions had affected me and if they knew about how my husband lied and manipulated all who were involved...we could come to some understanding... Basically what I said was, I know that you have been speaking to my husband. I can see on his computer that you have continued to contact him AFTER he has told you that I know about you and is trying to now work on his marriage, WHY?? She( Dara Allen) stuttered around and really didn't answer that question. She did say how sorry she felt for me, that their conversations had not been inappropriate for years,( my husband eventually shared with me that he had given her advice, that she had been in some" abusive" relationships, which was a laugh for me considering what he put me through, he said that she was with other married men and he had told her that "was unhealthy", so much vomit!) that I need to take care of myself, blah,blah, bs,blah... My husband left his previous job due to infidelity, and started work again in the Dallas area, closer to Dara.. His FIRST day at his new job,he was supposed to have lunch with his new boss and some employees from a company they had business with.. She was in the group. My husband declined the lunch invite and said he had errands to do. Upon hearing that he would not attend, she called HIS boss, asked to speak with my husband, and made him tell her why he wouldn't be coming to lunch. She couldn't understand, "why they couldn't continue their friendship." His wife didn't have to know.Really?!!! She told me that she would never contact him again.. This is the type of typical whore, waste of a human, that my husband has gone for. We have gone to counseling, but it is still hard to come to terms with the fact that so many people out there just don't have any respect for you or your marriage. This is only one example of me stupidly thinking that communication can be beneficial.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com