tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post1286133211301336974..comments2024-03-27T21:50:33.178-04:00Comments on Betrayed Wives' Club: Why you (and he!) need therapy to heal from infidelityEllehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-90010757927373541002015-07-27T12:01:01.367-04:002015-07-27T12:01:01.367-04:00"I knew, even on D-day, that I wanted to be w..."I knew, even on D-day, that I wanted to be with my husband and, in my mind, that pointed to my own insanity. I must be nuts to want to stay and yet I wanted to…and had no idea how to do it. "<br /><br />THIS. I felt like I must be crazy. Because when the words, "I did the worst thing I could have done to you. I cheated," came out of my husband's mouth, my very first thought was, "Can I save my family?" And I thought, who thinks that? I must be crazy or pathetic. But now I know I'm not those things. I'm a woman who loves a man who made some very bad choices, but he's willing to do whatever it takes to make it up to me.<br /><br />~Gee<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-4440754279165793052015-03-09T13:58:40.085-04:002015-03-09T13:58:40.085-04:00Back by popular demand: http://betrayedwivesclub.b...Back by popular demand: http://betrayedwivesclub.blogspot.ca/2014/04/my-letter-to-husbands-just-talk-about.htmlEllehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-57153800174677013642015-03-09T13:52:48.082-04:002015-03-09T13:52:48.082-04:00C,
Yes, it's a mess but not one that can't...C,<br />Yes, it's a mess but not one that can't be mopped up with two willing participants. <br />His response is, sadly, typical. While I agree that they do forget a lot, that doesn't excuse any dismissal of how painful this is for you. He needs to disclose everything that you think is pertinent: timeline of relationship, frequency of "encounters", each partner's understanding of the relationship (ie. "love", "just sex" whatever), gifts exchanged, vacations taken, friends met, etc. At that point, you can be relatively sure that you have an accurate snapshot of their relationship so you're less likely to feel blindsided by any new discovery that makes it seem different than what you thought it was. <br />The challenge is getting these guys to understand that this information, while it's painful to hear, is LESS painful than getting told half-truths and knowing that there's more to it than we're being told. The truth will set us free, as they saying goes, but first it will piss us off. <br />So often -- and especially with guys who have lived a lifetime telling only half-truths, or minimizing things, or otherwise being less than honest and direct -- they literally need to learn new communication skills. They need to understand that the only way to a deeper, more satisfying relationship, is total honesty. Some have never experienced that...and it feels terrifying.Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-81364556218701996902015-03-08T17:40:05.639-04:002015-03-08T17:40:05.639-04:00C for all my husband remorse there were things he ...C for all my husband remorse there were things he didn't tell me at first. About two weeks after d day I found adds on Craigslist. I found him on dating websites I found him on, for lack of a better term "sex guides". Where men review actions of prostitutes and "dime a dance" type places. So although he didn't hide these things he did omit the things he did that lead to nothing. Like they didn't count. Really frustrating. <br />And there really was nothing that ever physically happened for a long long time. He REALLY wanted to cheat and it took him 10 months to find a suitable person to fuck. <br />He sexted quite a bit (he called it "flirting"). And there were things that he totally forgot about which I found online. <br />More than once I had to wake him up at three am (as opposed to killing him) to find out what the HELL !!!???<br /> Sometimes they do forget I found that possible to believe after all my sluthing started to run together and I could not remember what I knew. What I didn't and what I did. What I had or had not talked to him about. <br /><br />It is really hard for some men to talk but that's no excuse. It's really hard to be cheated on and yet here we are. Elle posted a posted a while back that maybe she can re link called somthing like 'just fucking talk about it". It's great. <br /><br />I remember reading it to by husband. He had never been a talker but I needed him to be a chatty Cathy for a long time. And I still remind him and he can talk a lot now. Which is a miracle. He's not always comfortable with it but he does it anyway because we NEED it to survive <br />Talking isn't about beating him up although he might feel that way it is about us a clearer picture so that we don't have to fill in the blanks which we often fill in with situations much worse than what really happened. I am so sorry you are going through this pain. I remember it all too well Steamnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-87914939370878147012015-03-05T19:49:31.985-05:002015-03-05T19:49:31.985-05:00I'm better today. Last night was tough- he wa...I'm better today. Last night was tough- he was frustrated, I think, that reminders of his behavior keep popping up. While he insists that what I read in the letters was not what I thought it was (he did not re-read the letters- I'm sure he doesn't want to confront himself), I thought it was pretty hard to argue that she was not in love with him at that point. It was too obvious. He also defended himself by saying that he cares for ALL his friends and when he sees them mistreated or abused (she was having issues at work), he's going to step in. (Then the question is why he didn't step in for me when I was in a similar position late in my career.) I sometimes think that he still is not quite being honest with himself- I felt that very strongly last night. He never shared these letters or another that surfaced early in discovery with me when he received them. He didn't seem to get that it was the act of hiding these things that was the problem. They were purposefully put in places where I wouldn't see them and then he forgot about them- a ticking time bomb. Defensiveness, deflecting (I was drawn into something...), and frustration. Then he said, I'm just exasperated. (Like I'm not?) It was a tough conversation. It ended ok, but it was very uncomfortable.<br />In the end I told him that I thought we were lousy communicators. We never could talk to each other throughout our marriage and that's how we got into this mess. He couldn't talk to me about his needs and feelings, and I couldn't talk to him about mine even when I knew there was something terribly wrong. Don't rock the boat- that was out motto, I think. And that's why we need counseling. So, I agree, Elle- we need communication skills- and needed them from day one of our marriage. He told our therapist that he's coming to counseling so that I get better, but doesn't seem to realize it's for US to get better. There's plenty of blame to go around for the state of our marriage. I think we both feel like failures at our marriage at this point, but with help, I think we'll get better. <br />As for full disclosure- I'd love it. The problem is I've learned that my husband has truly forgotten a lot of what went on and what happened. And I believe him. I do. He has told me everything I think he remembers- it's just that new stuff keeps turning up around the house, and then here we go again. I'm just so unsure of what to do when this stuff turns up. Even though I've asked him and he tells me he wants to be told and to see it, I almost feel like just disposing of it- after all, he doesn't remember it. He'd never miss it. <br />What a mess this is. <br />C.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-23296932591114168872015-03-05T11:42:20.867-05:002015-03-05T11:42:20.867-05:00C,
I hope you're okay. None of us really handl...C,<br />I hope you're okay. None of us really handle this "well" so don't beat yourself up for having a tough time with it. It's all so crazy-making.<br />But your letter speaks to the value of a "full disclosure" session with a therapist. The chance to get everything out to the very best of everyone's memory so that you don't go around wondering if there are any unexploded landmines. You want to move past this, knowing everything you need to know and therefore able to make choices about the rest of your life.<br />Sounds, too, as if you two need some serious communication skills. Your situation is typical (problem solving guy, talkative woman) but it's not ideal for rebuilding a marriage.<br />Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-23414652663599747132015-03-04T21:35:46.986-05:002015-03-04T21:35:46.986-05:00Help me, help me, help me...We started back to mar...Help me, help me, help me...We started back to marriage counseling today- therapist seems pretty good, but of course we had to bring her up to speed. So painful to do that after all this time. My husband mentioned two things in the session that surprised me- for the first time I heard him use the word emotional (as in emotional affair) when he was talking about the first woman he was involved with. And when I said, wait, that's new- I don't think you've ever said that before, he got all defensive and the alarms went off again. (The therapist intervened and explained to him that I was asking a clarifying question and that it's ok to ask those.) When will the alarms ever stop going off??? Then he mentioned hers was a 4-year on and off relationship- I thought it was only 2!!! If it's 4, then it's been 12 years, or he saw the first woman after he retired from the military. So all sorts of things are going through my head.<br />He acted all upset and pulled the man thing- going silent- when we got home. I asked if he was upset about anything and he said no. Are you sure? no. You'd tell me if you were upset about something wouldn't you? silence. What is wrong with men??? Why don't they just open their f'ing mouths and TALK??? So it's been awkward all day- no wonder we need therapy! I tried to be nice- I was very gentle and asked him to please talk to me about what he was upset about when he was ready. And he said he would. <br />But he hasn't. And it's the end of the day. And now I'm really falling down the rabbit hole again. And the worst part is, I found another set of letters to him from the second woman tonight after he left for a gig. From 2006. He said it was 2008 when it probably began. He said he never held her- the letter says he did...she says she loves him several times- he said she never said that. And she goes on and on about how great a problem-solver he is and what would she do without him? And how much she loves to be with him...and I just want to scream at him when he gets home. <br />And the biggest cut is that this letter was inside a Valentine I gave him. What is wrong with men?? Why can't they just talk about the problems they're having? I would have listened. I'm a good listener. Instead the great problem-solver couldn't solve our problem-he had to go solve someone else's. What else is left to find? What else is here??? Why isn't it gone yet? It's almost a year!<br />I don't know what to do with this shit. Part of me wants to leave it on the bed so he can find it and read it and know that I found it. I specialize in passive aggressive when I get like this. Part of me doesn't want to be here when he gets home. I want to run away so badly, and I know I can't. I never could run away from a problem- but he did. For 10 years? 12? How long? Our marriage has an asterisk next to it: 36* years. I've tried to handle this like an adult and I just feel like a teenager right now- I haven't cried this hard in a very long time. <br />I know I'll have to decide how to handle this in the next hour. I hope I make a good choice. I feel so rocky. Until right now I never wanted a revenge affair, but I want him to feel what I feel. And I know it's wrong, but I want it. And I wouldn't do it, but I fantasize about it . Isn't this so stupid?<br /> At least I know I can come here and write and get some of my grief and anger out. <br />If a woman has had to drag everything out of her husband, like I have- do some of you find that marriage counseling reveals more information? Should I expect more surprises? I thought I had a good understanding of the two affairs...now I'm not so sure. I was thinking maybe I should call our therapist and just tell her that I don't think he's told me everything and tell her what happened. Is that ok to do? I am so confused again. Please- ANY advice. I hope I handle tonight well. Thanks for being here.<br />C.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-2482339704790975172015-03-04T12:23:59.962-05:002015-03-04T12:23:59.962-05:00I just read this article with very sensible recomm...I just read this article with very sensible recommendations for what makes therapy successful. I think it is very spot on and hope it helps people find the right therapist.<br /><br />https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/therapist-mistakes-with-infidelity-recovery?utm_source=Article+of+the+Week&utm_campaign=5e146362c9-aotw_03_04_2015&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_ba782628b7-5e146362c9-312870097Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-50875270745964906582015-03-03T09:26:05.272-05:002015-03-03T09:26:05.272-05:00Good luck. Let us know how it works out. You will ...Good luck. Let us know how it works out. You will get there, Ashley. But it sure helps to have a good therapist to keep you on track. Please know you can also post here whenever you need advice or just want to share your thoughts. Our stories can help us heal not only ourselves but each other.Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-85013616048885525392015-03-03T07:15:14.723-05:002015-03-03T07:15:14.723-05:00Thank you Elle, I hope so. That is a good idea to ...Thank you Elle, I hope so. That is a good idea to try to interview some over the phone. I'll try that and try to hang in here...Ashleynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-25635061935873717492015-03-02T10:58:39.082-05:002015-03-02T10:58:39.082-05:00Sam,
I think that books written by people who actu...Sam,<br />I think that books written by people who actually understand this can essentially BE therapy. But it takes a lot of self-discipline and insight to be able to recognize yourself without someone kinda pointing the way. I'm glad, however, that you've found your way out of this. And I hope that you've been able to make it clear to your kids that NOTHING about this has ever been their fault. That they're loved and valued. No kid should bear responsibility for their parent's choices.Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-42995809478546002902015-03-02T10:55:25.593-05:002015-03-02T10:55:25.593-05:00J.,
Of course, it's up to each one of us to li...J.,<br />Of course, it's up to each one of us to live the life that feels right for us. But I can't help but think you've resigned yourself to a half-marriage. I suspect it wasn't the counsellor who was the problem but a husband who's a smooth talker and unwilling to make himself vulnerable enough to allow a therapist to help. Nobody can help someone who doesn't really think he has a problem.<br />And I'm sorry your individual counselling didn't help much either. While my therapist occasionally recommended a book (more often, it was me telling her about a great book I'd discovered), she mostly called me out on unhealthy behaviours and guided me toward taking responsibility for myself and letting go of everything else. She helped me so how my husband's betrayal had triggered a lot of residual pain from long ago...and to heal those old wounds in order to better heal from the betrayal. It took a long time but I'm so grateful for where I am now.Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-79362314344023180772015-03-02T10:51:21.587-05:002015-03-02T10:51:21.587-05:00InnerPeace,
Keep your focus on you and your childr...InnerPeace,<br />Keep your focus on you and your children. You say that you're "doing fine" and I'm not surprised. You might just find that life is a whole lot easier and more pleasant without dealing with a spouse whose got one foot out of the marriage.<br />His actions contradict his declared desire to "save our marriage". If he truly wants to do that, then he would have absolutely no contact with anyone who could be a threat to that. If he's so insecure that he needs "affirmation" the second he thinks his marriage is over, then he's got some SERIOUS issues that are far outside of anything you can ever do.<br />In the meantime, I hope you'll consider seeing a therapist yourself to come to understand just how important boundaries in all relationships are (including with kids) so that you can begin to set healthy ones...and model healthy boundaries for your kids.<br />Hang in there...and keep us posted.Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-48840571439980703322015-03-02T10:47:21.650-05:002015-03-02T10:47:21.650-05:00Ugh. That's horrible. How do these people get ...Ugh. That's horrible. How do these people get their licences? See if you can interview someone over the phone. What you need is someone who has some experience helping a partner heal from infidelity. You need someone who can acknowledge the possibility of PTSD from betrayal and who responds to you with compassion and insight. Be candid about your bad experiences and that you're feeling depressed. Don't give up. The right therapist is out there...and can change your life.Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-67629497357506161172015-03-01T18:16:22.812-05:002015-03-01T18:16:22.812-05:00My problem is that I have been unable to find a go...My problem is that I have been unable to find a good therapist. I have been through several in fact. Two told me I was "fine" and just had to wait until my husband came around. Another always asked "what can I do for you?" YOU CAN HELP ME THROUGH THIS MESS!! But was never helpful. Another wanted to blame me for his affair. None have been able to be active and provide concrete help. I am sinking into depression and really need help Any suggestions to finding a good therapist? I'm losing hope... Ashleynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-32595278588495036612015-03-01T07:17:47.500-05:002015-03-01T07:17:47.500-05:00I agree with random. My husband and I also have be...I agree with random. My husband and I also have been doing well without therapy. The cost was a huge obstacle. Also he says he didn't want to go because now that we are over a year past d day he says there was nothing wrong with his marriage; it was all him. I read a ton of books as well as everything on this site which did for me what individual counseling would have done-- validated my feelings, taught me how to communicate, what questions to ask regarding the affairs, what to do to heal, etc. we are now in a much better place. Although in the beginning after d day # 1 he initially blamed my lack of desire for sex, my resentment for years of his lifestyle, my paying attention to the kids first (although he didn't phrase it that way) and kind of ignoring him/placing our relationship on the back burner (which was true), his job/long hours, after a few months I think he saw his strategy backfired. My hair fell out, I was drinking too much,I cried every day & I was always angry and yelling at the kids. He kept telling me to stop being angry at the kids & I would tell him it was there fault; if they weren't here this wouldn't have happened-- we would have had time for each other, I wouldn't have neglected u, our relationship would have been more of a priority.<br /><br />Then came d day # 2 & my whole outlook changed. That's when I actually started to believe what I read in every book-- that it wasn't my fault. This affair 10 years ago predates our children & marital problems. That's when he admitted to me (although he knew it all along; he just didn't want to say it out loud) that the affairs had nothing to do with me. The first one was kind of an early midlife crisis. She was throwing herself at him and he was only in his late 30s but he saw her as his last chance to have a new sexual experience (we had been together for 10 years at this point though just recently married for a couple of years). The second affair was self medication-- all those things about our marriage & his job were true and he sees now after having gone thru it that a new sexual partner did not make him feel better about his life; she only complicated matters. <br /><br />We recently had a conversation where my husband correctly said although he does a great job at accounting for his whereabouts and gives me access to his cell there's really no way for me to know he's not cheating again & he's absolutely right. He says he just doesn't want that anymore. It was in some ways exciting to have such a secret and think he wouldn't get caught but now that he has been burned he doesn't want to do it ever again. <br /><br />Amazing how someone so intelligent with so much insight could have fucked up so much in the first place , not once, but twice, and not with two one night stands but with 2 affairs, 1 of which lasting prob 1-2 years and re other almost a year. I guess it goes to show u everyone makes mistakes.<br /><br />All of that without therapy. So it can be done but required a ton of reading on my part and a ton of insight on his.<br /><br />SamAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-55574105220694282222015-02-27T21:57:11.653-05:002015-02-27T21:57:11.653-05:00I wanted to weigh in on this as well. I am in the ...I wanted to weigh in on this as well. I am in the same boat as Random Thoughts, possibly even more dire. I found myself dealing with this whole issue of infidelity whilst trying to start my own brick and mortar business (which has failed miserably in many parts due to this complete and utter traumatic fallout in my life right). My husband had quit his job to help me with the business but instead found more than enough free time on his hands to start having an affair with a married w/kids old college flame. (I'm still a little bitter and tender over all of it.....). After the initial shock of finding out, I fell apart and then tried for a few months to do a "stepford wife" thing. I just thought I wasn't enough, so I upped that game. After about 3 months of that, I took a free fall emotional drop and told my sister the whole thing. She turned around and told my parents who instantly called me up and offered their help. I went to two counseling sessions that were paid for by my parents - alone, because my husband wouldn't go. I didn't feel like the counselor was really helping me much and without my husband there, it really felt pointless. He needed to be there! He needed to hear and feel and come to a true understanding of what he did and how we could work on it together. After the two sessions, my parents couldn't do much more because it was draining a hole in their budget too and so I was unable to continue and I had to go about it with several DIY books and such. It's been terribly, terribly hard. Wow. It's been almost a year now though and I am beginning to finally, feel a little better about the whole thing. My husband and I are working hard together to try and work things out. He's been more understanding and helpful, but I can honestly say, I think that therapy would have helped so much. If only we had the money! You can get through without the therapy but truly, if at all possible, do it with a counselor! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-21943800726082263032015-02-27T11:29:41.085-05:002015-02-27T11:29:41.085-05:00I hear what you ladies are saying, money shouldn&#...I hear what you ladies are saying, money shouldn't be the decider between getting therapy or not. Fortunately in the uk we can access free counselling which should be available to everyone worldwide. We didn't need many sessions we too seemed to work it out for ourselves although the first few sessions of therapy were vital in my opinion. I liked it even more because the therapist seemed to be on my side lol and made my husband feel like crap. Quite right too at the time he deserved it now 15 months on I don't need to punish him. He has shown me in more wYs than one he can be a great partner. I'm so pleased we got through the wreckage. Thank you all for posting xxxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10071329217675295943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-46177660393430227352015-02-27T10:51:51.992-05:002015-02-27T10:51:51.992-05:00I understand where Random Thoughts is coming from;...I understand where Random Thoughts is coming from; the cost of counseling is one of the main reasons why we/I stopped. What a huge drain on our budget (no insurance coverage for this) and I had to put other essential things ahead of therapy. We'd been to 2 different counselors, both of whom said they were experienced in marriage, affairs, sex addiction yet I found both really failed to make a difference for us. My husband is also very smooth at going in and failing to deal with things honestly; he is obviously skilled at lying and manipulating and I would get soooo angry, that they then wanted to focus on me!!! How's that for you, and then to pay for it on top of it, then have cheating husband look like the "good one". I found neither counselor really understood us. I have come to the conclusion after 15 months past DDay that we can live together harmoniously, have altered sex at times, sometimes talk (tho he would prefer not to) and the cheating will always be an issue between us, like a non-operable tumor. I say altered sex because I have never felt the same about sex since I found out he was using escorts and lying for 8 yrs. I think sometimes there is nothing anyone (counselors inc.) can say or do to alleviate some of what happens after cheating and betrayal. It's always going to have happened, there will always be residual pain, hurt, insecurity and potential edge between the couple. We certainly have learned however to live together and have a pleasant enough life. I was seeing a counselor on my own for several months to deal with my feelings and sex and it was basically like sitting around talking for an hour and after paying told to go out and buy another book, etc. I can do that on my own. She had no huge insights, no advice, no magic to fix me or us.<br />The money could do more good say on a nice vacation for the 2 of us to enjoy and continue our healing.<br />J.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-70303731267699947962015-02-26T16:17:34.742-05:002015-02-26T16:17:34.742-05:00How ironic that the date on that old post is one w...How ironic that the date on that old post is one week before D-Day. I saved that post and read it many times early on, but I don't think I ever shared it with my H. Thanks for reminding me of it.<br />C.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-30057931423305431282015-02-26T04:51:55.799-05:002015-02-26T04:51:55.799-05:00Inner peace first off,NO contact . What in the he...Inner peace first off,NO contact . What in the hell is your husband doing? And he wants you to trust? On what basis? Do bring those things up, it's impossible to just trust someone who has proven he is untrustworthy . Now I believe people can change, but first we have to recognize what, and more importantly WHY. Your husband doesn't seem to grasp the concept. Also I am personally not a big fan of one therapist seeing one spouse and then a couple. There are things that your therapist cannot repeat from his private sessions with your husband, And I really hope he urges your husband to come totally clean and does not let things slide past you. Keep us updated. Steamnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-1726156540622242702015-02-26T03:41:07.842-05:002015-02-26T03:41:07.842-05:00Steam,
Bravo!! Great post. He loathes anything ...Steam,<br /><br />Bravo!! Great post. He loathes anything to do with psychiatry/psychology. <br /><br />I am going to second therapist in 10 days. First one was not a good fit for me. He made appointment to go solo but he did not go (imagine that!). <br /><br />Again -- GREAT post and THANKS!!<br /><br />This is Terry Telephone -- I don't yet know how to get my name in.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-44005345094357320462015-02-25T20:32:40.656-05:002015-02-25T20:32:40.656-05:00C,
It's crucial for our spouses to be able to...C, <br />It's crucial for our spouses to be able to validate our pain in order to rebuild a marriage. Otherwise you can still heal...but the marriage itself won't necessarily. Here's something I wrote awhile back for husbands. Perhaps your husband will give it a read, if you think it might get through to him: http://betrayedwivesclub.blogspot.ca/2014/04/my-letter-to-husbands-just-talk-about.htmlEllehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-25842009853650433912015-02-25T20:31:46.329-05:002015-02-25T20:31:46.329-05:00Stay with us.... there are so many women on this b...Stay with us.... there are so many women on this blog who can help you keep your sanity through this! Positive thoughts for tomorrow!Random Thoughtsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-21608343675123580582015-02-25T18:56:12.418-05:002015-02-25T18:56:12.418-05:00Please let us know what happens. Please let us know what happens. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17219895095283341385noreply@blogger.com