tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post5630521284821355077..comments2024-03-27T21:50:33.178-04:00Comments on Betrayed Wives' Club: When We Shift, When We Become: Infidelity Through the Lens of TraumaEllehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13470499558973726796noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-71378981843724032021-10-04T19:57:38.675-04:002021-10-04T19:57:38.675-04:00Hello Lili.....I am just seeing your post today......Hello Lili.....I am just seeing your post today....your post is from almost two years ago....I hope things are better for you? From my experience, I too was despising the OW....my husband (now I call him my wasband, even though we are not yet divorced) has had many, many affairs....the one that ended our marriage as I knew it had been going on for four years....it's an ugly story....he even introduced us, wanted her and I to be friends! she was his assistant in business and we rented out a property to her and her nightmare children, yep, they lived next door...and the affair went on right under my nose....I'm two years now from D-Day and the pain is still horrible for me.....for the first year after discovery, I despised the OW....all my attention was in her direction....I realized that it kept me from focusing on my wasband and what he had done because whenever I thought of his despicable deeds, I thought I would go insane...I couldn't handle the trauma, I thought my mind would go crazy trying to process what I had discovered....so it was easier and probably safer at that time for me to hate the OW. I wanted to post pictures of her in the post office, at the library, everywhere...and write things like 'liar/cheat/thief/master manipulater/husband-stealer' because these labels were all true and I wanted everyone to know what a trainwreck she was and to steer clear...but I didn't post any photos....my second year after discovery, I began to look at my wasband and his behavior (I kicked him out as soon as I discovered his girlfriend of four years)...so year 2 was also tough because I chose to look at what he had done and how it had negatively impacted my life, also I learned more about his nefarious behavior that had been going on for our entire marriage...as of today he still has affairs...the older he gets, the younger his females get...he is sick...so I'm not sure there is a timeline for any of us betrayed wives to feel better...we all heal at our own speed....seeking professional help/counsel/guidance is a good thing....self-care is vital...we need to take care of ourselves first and foremost...I will never be able to let wasband in to my life again because he has done nothing to better himself....he continues to cheat and lie/ manipulate/ deceive....it's a small town and word gets around so even up until last week I know what he's up to....and it's nothing good....I'm broken hearted that he didn't fight for me, for our marriage...nope, nothing...he just kept chasing females...I focus on self-care but the thoughts/images of him and his affairs still creep in at unexpected times and I feel devastated, but not nearly as badly as my D-Day of four years ago...so I truly hope things are better for you....it is horrible, what we are all going through but I am glad we are here for each other! Do take care of yourself, fight for your life and for your peace of mind!!! big hugsZinderellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04216273580233195473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-30794156507465710002020-03-14T08:17:08.077-04:002020-03-14T08:17:08.077-04:00My spouse had (at least) an emotional affair of (a...My spouse had (at least) an emotional affair of (at least) a few months with a co-worker, decided to tell me about it and then left the house. They blamed my insecurities and jealous personality for their affair and that if I want the marriage to survive, I have to change my shortcomings fast. Now my spouse is living alone and considering whether they want to remain in our marriage, remain friends (or more) with the person they cheated with, or just plain getting divorced and remaining alone. They say they don't have a lot of hope regarding the marriage surviving, but they love me more than the other person, they don't want the marriage to end and they want to come back home. However, they don't see coming home with necessarily being in a relationship with me. I can't begin to express the hurt, confusion and anger I feel. I wish that my spouse's position about all of this was clear so I could start working in one direction: reconciling, healing, detaching, etc. Instead, I feel like my state of mind depends on how my spouse acts with me one given day. I build up hope, just to be disappointed the next day. Then I feel like I should consider the relationship to be almost over and start moving on, only to get dragged back into hope the next hour. <br /><br />I relate to using the word "trauma" to describe how I feel about the fact that they cheated emotionally. I can only imagine how it feels if I learned that I was cheated on physically on top of it. The feeling of betrayal and abandonment is unbearable. I also catch myself hoping that this is just a bad dream and that my spouse will call me one day to tell me that this never happened. I feel like that would be the only way for me to get over the pain and suffering. But I am painfully aware that this is absolutely impossible, and the thought of having no way to "fix" this situation and having to face reality is literally killing me. I lost a lot of weight since my spouse left the house. I cannot eat and I have trouble sleeping.<br /><br />Thank you to everyone here for your stories and for giving me the comfort to know that other strong people are surviving out there and that we are not crazy. Istellenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-61270633591393909402019-11-30T11:10:20.444-05:002019-11-30T11:10:20.444-05:00I found this blood heater day when looking for the...I found this blood heater day when looking for the aftermath of infidelity. It's been 16 months of Dday for me now And I still so hurt.I feel stuck in all this memories that my mind replays on and on ,It's not been a day that I don't have thoughts about the affair that lasted a year and I found about by accident.<br />I thought I could handle this alone but now I think is time to look for some help to go through this.He cheated on me with a co worker even though by that time he was working in another school. She also had been my coworker few years ago in another school. I don't know if this is normal but I have all my hate in her direction ,not him. At this time I think that she deserves to suffer the consequences ( what she hasn't) of her actions y and sometimes I would like everyone to know what she did. Getting rid of this hate it's been one of the hardest part,getting rid of all the time that my H spent with this OW is really difficult for me. I still picturing it. Do you ever get rid of these thoughts? Do the pain really goes away? Should I be in a better place by now? <br />We are working the situation together and most of the time he has been very supportive but I still need more.Lilihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16468704254717944423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-79036985157211905182019-04-29T18:14:03.392-04:002019-04-29T18:14:03.392-04:00Michelle/Oliveme! Yeah! Thanks for checking in! ...Michelle/Oliveme! Yeah! Thanks for checking in! FTS is such a powerful motto and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I was corresponding with another one of our "sisters" here and mistakenly typed FT Ship. I had to send another email and correct myself but by then, she was peeing herself with my mistake and howling with laughter. So FTS can be such a source of laughter and joy, right LilyLove?Beach Girlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-67892607883867247192019-04-27T19:05:22.217-04:002019-04-27T19:05:22.217-04:00Thank you to everyone that shared. This not anythi...Thank you to everyone that shared. This not anythingany of us should have experienced. Women are far from the weaker sex. 😁Hopefulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07063776707595635157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-59050930614038774112019-04-27T14:48:48.486-04:002019-04-27T14:48:48.486-04:00Unknown, I understand too. I will say I never thou...Unknown, I understand too. I will say I never thought I would make it through any of this on dday. It has been a process. As far as feeling safe to be intimate that came after I felt assured and safe emotionally. At least for me they are intertwined. One of the non negotiables was to get STD testing together. He jumped on board but it was not easy for either of us. We did choose to go out of town and went to a Planned Parenthood. It was a really positive experience for both of us. One thing that came out was with the second ow (my husband had two affairs sporadically over ten years) that the first time they were together it was unprotected. Well if you learn anything that helps some but other STD's can be transferred even while using protection via skin to skin contact or orally. He disclosed that he went an got tested anonymously over a year after that incident since he could not sleep at night. It was an interesting disclosure to me since it hit him that hard but he still was in both affairs. He also had convinced himself that since one of the ow was a nurse the hospital tested her for "everything". I laughed at that. Basically he told himself whatever he had to. It was rough. One major question was if he had a kid with anyone else and the other one was him endangering my life through his affairs. <br /><br />We are over four years past dday and we both talk together often of how we wish we could erase the past but we are closer than ever. I would say we moved through some of the recovery quickly since he ended both affairs over 15 months before dday on his own. For me trust was something I was guarded with for a long time. I went to therapy and we had very detailed expectations and boundaries. Basically I had to see if his actions matched his words over and over. I also have talked about just "not cheating" was not enough. he really had to re-evaluate his entire life. All of his friendships and relationships. Everything changed. It was a long process and took time. Over time and with the support of my therapist I gradually started to become more vulnerable. It was the hardest part. In the end I realized I had to learn to trust myself and my gut. Also through watching him go through this I realized he betrayed himself first and foremost. I would never wish this upon anyone ever but I try to focus on the present and where we are today. Hopeful 30noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-6379167596869927722019-04-27T03:24:04.756-04:002019-04-27T03:24:04.756-04:00I'm still here BeachGirl and fuck that shit is...I'm still here BeachGirl and fuck that shit is still my motto. I sometimes use it instead of no. I also embroidered it on a pretty pink floral piece of fabric with pretty flowers and the letters in Black. You all help me every day. We will transcend!! So much love to you all ♥Michelle (Oliveme)https://www.blogger.com/profile/03900006387862463633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-51220670456576941542019-04-26T15:35:07.926-04:002019-04-26T15:35:07.926-04:00Anon, I can only speak to my experience and luckil...Anon, I can only speak to my experience and luckily my husband's affairs did not ever cross into his business/professional life. At first both of us thought about it as black and white. No contact with the ow and the friend that introduced him to the two ow. But as we moved through recovery it became obvious that he lived his life differently than he portrayed it in most aspects. I would say he cut corners and pushed boundaries. It was about what was best for him. I heard a lot of "what's the big deal". It really was in all aspects of his life. Along with the affair recovery he and we really assessed every detail of how he lived. And our boundaries and expectations were very detailed. <br /><br />This was a process and took a long time. I give him credit since it was as if we were nit picking and pulling apart every detail of his life. At first he was like I am not cheating there is no contact. But I had to sit down and tell him that was not enough. If I am staying in this marriage then I want it to be a marriage I am happy to be a partner in. After going through 10 years of affairs and everything he did I am not sticking around just for no cheating. He got it. <br /><br />And I will say there were things in the beginning my husband said were no big deal and things he has no recollection of saying post dday. We are over four years out. He used to always stick up for his friends and give them the benefit of the doubt even when they were less than great. His perspective has changed. But it has taken a lot of work. And there are many friends he has no contact with or very little. His goal has been to live his life 100% transparent and authentic to be the best father and husband. He said he was not sure he could do that since he never lived that way but he said it has been rewarding and easy. Hopeful 30noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-21814695509649769642019-04-26T14:25:42.185-04:002019-04-26T14:25:42.185-04:00Unknown,
I so understand what you are feeling. My...Unknown,<br />I so understand what you are feeling. My husband and I went together and got STD testing shortly after I found out. Unfortunately, I would have already been exposed because his affair went on for over a year and we were having unprotected sex during that time. He claimed to always use condoms with the OW; however, to be blunt, there was still physical contact and oral sex with nothing. For me, STD testing was necessary so I would know with certainty if I had been affected. <br />Our intimacy has waxed and waned often over four years of healing. We went through a lengthy period of hysterical bonding. And a period where I could think of nothing but him with her. My only suggestion would be to take it at whatever pace is comfortable for you. The biggest hurdle for me at times has been not allowing my thoughts to take over. A positive that has come from this in my relationship is that my husband and I now have true intimacy rather than him viewing sex as just the physical part. Also there is a thread on this blog about sex and intimacy in the wake of this if you feel ready to read there.<br />Hugs! ❤️Dandelionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07422695784998995973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-13213924992146015102019-04-26T09:46:05.469-04:002019-04-26T09:46:05.469-04:00No, you are not alone. There are literally million...No, you are not alone. There are literally millions of us and, on this site, thousands of us. When you're ready, I hope you'll share your story. It can begin the healing. Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12947780870490110663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-5106889775647186482019-04-26T09:45:25.242-04:002019-04-26T09:45:25.242-04:00Thank you. I have been told about EMDR but so far ...Thank you. I have been told about EMDR but so far the only person that does that was my H therapist. I will keep looking.Hopefulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07063776707595635157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-46789644325252354552019-04-26T09:45:23.291-04:002019-04-26T09:45:23.291-04:00I agree. And one of the things couples sometimes n...I agree. And one of the things couples sometimes need to do is remove "friends of the affair", those who someone enabled or supported or even encouraged the affair. It wonder, in this case, if it's worth your husband having a talk with this guy and simply making it clear that this OW cannot be involved in anything. That she must be completely removed and that your husband expects this friend to respect that. And then, if he violates that, he's not a friend. Your husband's loyalty needs to be to you and your healing, foremost. Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12947780870490110663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-36138067319611676232019-04-26T09:29:33.782-04:002019-04-26T09:29:33.782-04:00My h has the same disease as does my daughter. Th...My h has the same disease as does my daughter. The BPHope helps you notice the signs. I know when my h had his affair he talking how he could feel himself change but he couldn't stop it. You aren't alone on here. But this is a subject that most people with bipolar don't talk about. I'm sure there are many women that stop by here looking for the same thing we have and I hope your h is on a treatment plan so that he and you can understand what this disease does.Through My Eyes.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06273425686601523460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-78078138098632389822019-04-26T08:54:13.830-04:002019-04-26T08:54:13.830-04:00I have a friend whose childhood sounds similar to ...I have a friend whose childhood sounds similar to yours. Loving parents, great schools, wonderful friends. She's close to her siblings. Has a great job. And recently divorced her second cheating husband. <br />Her therapist suggested that nothing in her childhood prepared her to recognize someone whose wounds would ultimately hurt her. As the adage goes, hurt people hurt people.<br />I still maintain that you're experiencing post-trauma and I hope you can find someone to help you with it. There's a therapy called EMDR, which seems kinda woo-woo but that really works with post-trauma. And, of course, keep posting here. It's amazing the power of a community of women who know your pain and can light your way forward. Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12947780870490110663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-13767489691779190462019-04-25T22:41:41.462-04:002019-04-25T22:41:41.462-04:00Unknown
I have been with my h since I was a virgi...Unknown <br />I have been with my h since I was a virgin of 16. He introduced me to the HPV the next year. I knew when we were kids then that I was not his first sex partner. I didn’t really understand the impact of the early years until now that I face the cancer from that virus. That said we married 3-4 years later and have been married since then. We have adult children and grandchildren and he chose to cheat at a time when circumstances allowed but for us/him his short term gratification, sex, didn’t live up to the fantasy that led him down that path. By the time I had my dday , our sex life was normal and I was just hit with the reality that I was already exposed to every sexual transmitted infection possible. He had to be tested and so did I it was very humiliating for both of us. I worried about every bump down there being a genital wart. Nothing was positive and then we have had many ups and downs but when we re committed to our marriage we have struggled one day at a time to get through that part of the process...normal love making came somewhere in between that shitstorm...my heart aches for what I have felt like you!Theresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11767712425596090138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-14817341058342811322019-04-25T19:22:29.933-04:002019-04-25T19:22:29.933-04:00I know it is believed that ducks don't marry c...I know it is believed that ducks don't marry chickens but in our case that is just not true. I didn't have any of what you are asking. Grew up in a happy home. Member of church choir, youth group, lots of friends. Brother and a sister both younger, played lots of sports. I had deaths in the family that were traumatc, as I believe all are in some way. I just think he was so gracious, wonderful and involved, my rock through the deaths. Whenever we drove someplace he always held my hand. Kissed the back of it. When we watched TV he held my hand. Kissed me multiple times a day. Always told me he loved me. If he could be like that and have really no regard for me at all, then? The best under cover agent ever. He had a rough childhood but he is an Adult. Its pretty clear what right and wrong behavior is. It seems a lot of women say they have a back up plan etc. If I have to plan for failure then whats the point?Hopefulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07063776707595635157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-56431783130455268552019-04-25T16:43:13.744-04:002019-04-25T16:43:13.744-04:00Unknown, I'm curious whether you've had ot...Unknown, I'm curious whether you've had other trauma in your life, or other gaslighting. Sometimes, and this is just a layperson's opinion given what I've heard so often on this site, when we've already experienced childhood trauma (abuse, dysfunction, addiction, etc.), the betrayal can reopen old wounds that were never addressed or healed, making it that much more difficult to process the betrayal. It certainly sounds as though you're continuing to experience post-trauma. Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12947780870490110663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-27963190403401690992019-04-25T16:01:30.426-04:002019-04-25T16:01:30.426-04:00Thank you beach girl for your sharing. Thank you t...Thank you beach girl for your sharing. Thank you to everyone. Still hard for me to understand your believing anything your H say when he could have given you a horrible std. I don't want to be to personnal but how do you dare be intimate? I just can't. We are in many ways but not in the way I could be given an STD. As well I just can't get the sight of him doing the same thing with others. It want to vomit.Hopefulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07063776707595635157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-20028373411135366112019-04-25T15:46:56.904-04:002019-04-25T15:46:56.904-04:00I am amazed by how so many seem to be getting thro...I am amazed by how so many seem to be getting through so quickly. Discovery was over 4 years ago for me. He denied so many of them for as long as he could. We spent a Lot of our retirement money on therapy for him and some for me. I am triggered more then once a day and it is still the crushing can't breath reaction. Cry a lot. He goes to two mtgs a week, we go to church, pray together twice daily and spend all our time together if we are not at work. But we always spent our free time together. Most of his cheating was during the day. Web cam and emails etc was done in the middle of the night. Surviving barely. Want to Thrive. Hopefulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07063776707595635157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-78360040484179862312019-04-25T12:30:53.150-04:002019-04-25T12:30:53.150-04:00I am so glad I found this blog. I am not alone. I am so glad I found this blog. I am not alone. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-52522362710685763122019-04-24T22:16:46.667-04:002019-04-24T22:16:46.667-04:00The Bipolar Blog is called BPHope. Hope and Harmo...The Bipolar Blog is called BPHope. Hope and Harmony for People with BipolarAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-41099842506941503822019-04-24T18:51:10.776-04:002019-04-24T18:51:10.776-04:00The trauma of infidelity cannot be under estimated...The trauma of infidelity cannot be under estimated in my opinion. When my husband disclosed to me I felt like my entire life shattered like a mirror into a zillion shards. As I explained to my therapist, everywhere I looked I only saw broken shards of glass reflecting back pieces of me, my face, my life, my reality. It was surreal to say the least. It took a very long time to get that under control but here I am, a complete human again. I see myself as an independent person and also as part of a couple but that long stretch of "the middle" seemed to last forever. (Thanks SS1 for that description!) I never thought I could get past that middle but here I am. I am stronger than ever and more determined than ever to live my best life. I'll help my adult kids when asked but the next third of my life will be focused on me, what I want and like to do and how I can maintain myself within this marriage. Hubby and I sometimes talk about how good things are now and I often say, "We are a team now. If one of us does not hold up our part of the agreement we are no longer a team." He often laughs and says, "Ya, I know, if I don't get the pots and pans done I don't get to eat the next day, LOL" because part of our agreement as a team is that I cook and he cleans up and I don't cook in a dirty kitchen and I don't clean up a dirty kitchen. Might sound like a small thing here but for 35 plus years I did it all and never again. Life is good and getting better. I take no shit from anyone anymore and I only hang with people I like to be with. Even in mixed company I will speak up and not allow anyone to bully me whether in politics, religion, parenting or life. Hope "Oliveme" is still reading because I still love her statement, "Fuck that shit" Peace and love allBeach Girlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-86824308790952659162019-04-24T18:36:19.367-04:002019-04-24T18:36:19.367-04:00Unknown, I was married over 35 years and believed ...Unknown, I was married over 35 years and believed I had a wonderful marriage to a wonderful guy until he told me he thought he had AIDS because he had been buying sex from whores for ten years. Talk about a wake up call and reality check. Just because I believed my life was one way and it was in my eyes most of the time, I had no idea how mentally ill and unstable my husband was because he was able to compartmentalize his life until he hit that wall of facing death. That made him decide that his life was over whether he told me or not so he told me. The chaos that followed was awful. We will hit the 4 year D-day in mid June and our lives are so much better now and very different because our marriage is now based on honesty. I know he was not honest with me prior to D-day and I also know he was not honest with himself about his past or his choices. He has done everything I asked him to do plus so much more. My healing and acceptance of his truth (which includes a childhood history of things I had no idea of when we married) has taken a long time and although there will continue to be triggers and things that create unsettling feelings in me, I see the changes in him every single day. I've somehow managed to let go of the past because I can't change it and neither can he. We can only live the present. Our lives have changed dramatically for the best even though it has caused many in the rest of our family to scratch their heads and wonder what the heck happened but I am happy now and so is he. We do not live where we use to live most of the time and we make choices and decisions about our own lives that our adult kids don't particularly like but they are adults and this will give them a growth experience. A couple of posts ago Elle made a statement that brought me to a deeper peace. I'll paraphrase here, "If he does cheat or cross boundaries I will know he did it knowing he chose to leave the marriage." My husband has to travel to a place in June where he visited prostitutes in the past and we've talked about that trip. Last night I said, "I know you have promised to be honest with me and I also know that if you choose to do anything that crosses our agreed upon boundaries you have deliberately chosen to leave our marriage." He just looked at me and said, "I will never do anything again that dishonors me or you or our marriage. My life is too good to screw up." Beach Girlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-28940753284930768452019-04-24T18:25:59.405-04:002019-04-24T18:25:59.405-04:00Part of my trauma includes one of my husband's...Part of my trauma includes one of my husband's friend. My husband was caught cheating with his assistant who was also a family friend Feb 2016. She ran most of the finances in our business. I was working else where when I caught him. Safe to say, she no longer worked for him immediately. Months later, as I came to work in our business permanately (April 2017), I noticed while cleaning up files that she was writing checks 3 weeks past discovery date. When I questioned my husband, he said it was his handwriting. I've been with this man for years, his best friend before dating. I can tell his handwriting from a mile away. So, I questioned it again. This time he said his friend, in an attempt to help my husband with backed payment and paperwork, asked the OW if she can help him. So my husband's friend who was supposed to be the one helping my husband, had my husband's laptop and scanner at her home and had her doing all the backed up bills and scanning invoices. My husband didn't happen to know until he noticed check stubs of checks she had written (so he says). I literally despise the guy and can't even see him. My husband thinks I shouldn't be upset because he did it to help him. My argument is, you see your friend going through marital issues because he was caught cheating with this woman, as his friend, you should keep her far away as possible. Not involve her in anything. If he's the OW's friend that's his business not my husbands. What do you guys think? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7026450255174007652.post-83670488030994497112019-04-24T17:29:32.317-04:002019-04-24T17:29:32.317-04:00Unknown
Trust didn’t keep him from cheating to be...Unknown <br />Trust didn’t keep him from cheating to begin with and even if you rebuild a certain amount of trust, it doesn’t mean that he may not cheat again but you can build trust in yourself that you know how to take care of yourself with or without him in your life...I trust that my h knows that this was his one chance to make the right decision if ever he’s tempted again, and I trust me that if that were to happen, I have a financial back up plan and I know I have the strength to do life with out him if necessary...there’s no guarantees either way..,Theresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11767712425596090138noreply@blogger.com