Thank you for this reminder. On a different subject, I've submitted comments on other posts but they don't show up. I've tried every way - via phone, safari, chrome, signing out and back in, making sure the character count doesn't exceed the limit... - and only a few times have my posts appeared (they haven't been inflamatory or inapproriate!). I'm breaking down in tears again because I need BWC to express my struggles and triumphs. I have to hold this massive secret all the time and only here can I can be 100% free of that burden. I know that pouring my heart into a reply that then disappears into the ether is triggering an old wound (and teasrs) of not being seen or heard. If anyone has tips for succesful posting, I'd greatly appreciate them. Hopefully this post will go through...
Somebody, I’ve had issues with posts as well. I think someone mentioned awhile back that posts sometimes disappear unless you’re using a certain platform. I wish I could remember where it was posted to help point you in the right direction. I hope someone else recalls where it was. I do everything on my iPhone and sometimes (like today ��) even when logged into my Blogger account, I can’t post under that account and have to type in my name. I’ve also had posts disappear once I click publish. It does help to be heard and for many of us, I think this site is an important outlet. Sending you hugs!
Hello Somebody I wish I had the answers to your tech questions. Losing posts has happened to me too. Hang in there and pour your heart out here. We're here to listen. Any reason you have to keep it a secret? Is there anyone you can share this burden with? Hugs Gabby xo
Somebody I also had trouble posting in the beginning and occasionally my post will either double or disappear. I don’t think it’s anything more than a fickle internet...sending hugs for the pain you feel of not being seen or heard! I hear you!
Somebody, Do you access it from a desktop or only your phone? I cannot get anything to post from my phone in almost four years. I gave up and just use my desktop. And I can totally relate to the posts disappearing.
And actually I tried to pull up the site just to read only and my iphone will not even let me access the site. It says "This Connection is Not Private. This Website may be impersonating...." So I cannot even pull it up on my iPhone.
And also on my desktop I receive a warning that this site is not secure. I am totally clueless with technology. I wish I could help!
Somebody, I'm so sorry you're having trouble. I'm not much help -- I think part of the problem is this "blogger" platform I'm using. It's pretty low-tech. I only censor spam (I get a LOT of spell casters promising to change our lives) so I haven't been deleting your comments. Try some of the other suggestions and see if it helps. And again, I'm so sorry. We want your voice on this site.
Today isn't an anniversary as such, but we are rapidly approaching the 4 year anniversary of dday1, and I am thinking of how much everything changed.
Things have been good, but just recently things have gotten weird. Too much time on whatsapp for him, a password locked phone, a new sporty car. I'm feeling strange vibes, but I don't want to confront him.
Anon Feb28. Sorry to hear you questioning things. Personally, I would be curious, and one thing I've learnt is my gut is telling me something for a reason. Any reason why you feel you can't confront him?? Thinking of you Gabby xo
Anonymous, I think if there's anything I've learned through this healing, it's that open and honest communication is the only way out. Tell him how you're feeling -- a bit on edge, uncomfortable. Ask him what's happening. Suggest that you both commit to putting phones away when you're together and reconnecting. Or finding a game to play together on your phones or whatever helps you close that distance. It can be really easy to let bad habits creep back in. And do your best to really listen to him. The sporty car might be a mid-life crisis car and it can be hard for him to admit he's feeling old or irrelevant. But marriage needs to be the safe place for us -- to take off the mask and trust that our partner will listen and try to understand. I hope that for both of you.
I just posted this meme on FB. It’s been a hellish few months. Tomorrow is the day I found my WS’s ad ... at 36 weeks pregnant ... 3 weeks AFTEr he disclosed that he’d continued contact with the OW after telling me it was over and we’d been trying to reconcile for months.
I didn’t even pick up on the fact that the flame was on 3/2. My WS is the one who did.
So Elle - thank you for the reminder that I don’t have to spiral on every anniversary. I am going to celebrate tomorrow for the growth - LOL - and maybe even drink to some of the stupid things (when will I ever learn that contacting the OW is NOT going to result in anything good?).
Kimberly, Glad the reminder helped. And yes, it can really help to celebrate how far we've come. Sometimes the change is so incremental, we barely notice it. Or because we're not where we want to be, we forget that we're also not where we were.
RE disappearing posts!! To those who are having issues posting with IPhone - don’t use SAFARI Download the Chrome browser to your iPhone. Also know that Elle hand submits our posts. If they posted automatically we’d be deluged with spam. After you write your post copy and paste it to another doc (a word doc- an email to Yourself) before you submit. That way you have it in case it disappears. If you forget to do that, EVERY now and then i have been able to hit the back button and recover it. I have just realized that i am typing this in safari. So now I’m going to copy paste the whole thing on BWC Which i have open in Chrome on my phone and to an email to myself. I hope this helps.
If you don’t get a notification that says “ your comment will be visible after approval” then your post did disappear. Hit the back button to see if it is stil. In the comment box. If you DO get that notice Elle has to O.K. your post. If she’s off having a life that could take a few hours or a few days. Hang in there sisters
I do try and stay on top of posts -- checking at least daily. I was away on a trip last week so it might have been longer than 24 hours once or twice but I'm back!! And thanks Steam for the tech lesson. ;)
Brilliant! The calendar becomes much more significant after betrayal & trauma.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this reminder. On a different subject, I've submitted comments on other posts but they don't show up. I've tried every way - via phone, safari, chrome, signing out and back in, making sure the character count doesn't exceed the limit... - and only a few times have my posts appeared (they haven't been inflamatory or inapproriate!). I'm breaking down in tears again because I need BWC to express my struggles and triumphs. I have to hold this massive secret all the time and only here can I can be 100% free of that burden. I know that pouring my heart into a reply that then disappears into the ether is triggering an old wound (and teasrs) of not being seen or heard. If anyone has tips for succesful posting, I'd greatly appreciate them. Hopefully this post will go through...
ReplyDeleteSomebody,
DeleteI’ve had issues with posts as well. I think someone mentioned awhile back that posts sometimes disappear unless you’re using a certain platform. I wish I could remember where it was posted to help point you in the right direction. I hope someone else recalls where it was. I do everything on my iPhone and sometimes (like today ��) even when logged into my Blogger account, I can’t post under that account and have to type in my name. I’ve also had posts disappear once I click publish.
It does help to be heard and for many of us, I think this site is an important outlet. Sending you hugs!
Hello Somebody
DeleteI wish I had the answers to your tech questions.
Losing posts has happened to me too.
Hang in there and pour your heart out here. We're here to listen.
Any reason you have to keep it a secret? Is there anyone you can share this burden with?
Hugs
Gabby xo
Somebody
DeleteI also had trouble posting in the beginning and occasionally my post will either double or disappear. I don’t think it’s anything more than a fickle internet...sending hugs for the pain you feel of not being seen or heard! I hear you!
Somebody, Do you access it from a desktop or only your phone? I cannot get anything to post from my phone in almost four years. I gave up and just use my desktop. And I can totally relate to the posts disappearing.
DeleteAnd actually I tried to pull up the site just to read only and my iphone will not even let me access the site. It says "This Connection is Not Private. This Website may be impersonating...." So I cannot even pull it up on my iPhone.
DeleteAnd also on my desktop I receive a warning that this site is not secure. I am totally clueless with technology. I wish I could help!
Somebody,
DeleteI'm so sorry you're having trouble. I'm not much help -- I think part of the problem is this "blogger" platform I'm using. It's pretty low-tech. I only censor spam (I get a LOT of spell casters promising to change our lives) so I haven't been deleting your comments. Try some of the other suggestions and see if it helps. And again, I'm so sorry. We want your voice on this site.
Today isn't an anniversary as such, but we are rapidly approaching the 4 year anniversary of dday1, and I am thinking of how much everything changed.
ReplyDeleteThings have been good, but just recently things have gotten weird. Too much time on whatsapp for him, a password locked phone, a new sporty car. I'm feeling strange vibes, but I don't want to confront him.
Anon Feb28. Sorry to hear you questioning things. Personally, I would be curious, and one thing I've learnt is my gut is telling me something for a reason.
DeleteAny reason why you feel you can't confront him??
Thinking of you
Gabby xo
Anonymous, I think if there's anything I've learned through this healing, it's that open and honest communication is the only way out. Tell him how you're feeling -- a bit on edge, uncomfortable. Ask him what's happening. Suggest that you both commit to putting phones away when you're together and reconnecting. Or finding a game to play together on your phones or whatever helps you close that distance. It can be really easy to let bad habits creep back in.
DeleteAnd do your best to really listen to him. The sporty car might be a mid-life crisis car and it can be hard for him to admit he's feeling old or irrelevant. But marriage needs to be the safe place for us -- to take off the mask and trust that our partner will listen and try to understand. I hope that for both of you.
I just posted this meme on FB. It’s been a hellish few months. Tomorrow is the day I found my WS’s ad ... at 36 weeks pregnant ... 3 weeks AFTEr he disclosed that he’d continued contact with the OW after telling me it was over and we’d been trying to reconcile for months.
ReplyDeleteI didn’t even pick up on the fact that the flame was on 3/2. My WS is the one who did.
So Elle - thank you for the reminder that I don’t have to spiral on every anniversary. I am going to celebrate tomorrow for the growth - LOL - and maybe even drink to some of the stupid things (when will I ever learn that contacting the OW is NOT going to result in anything good?).
Kimberly
Kimberly,
DeleteGlad the reminder helped. And yes, it can really help to celebrate how far we've come. Sometimes the change is so incremental, we barely notice it. Or because we're not where we want to be, we forget that we're also not where we were.
RE disappearing posts!! To those who are having issues posting with IPhone - don’t use SAFARI Download the Chrome browser to your iPhone. Also know that Elle hand submits our posts. If they posted automatically we’d be deluged with spam.
ReplyDeleteAfter you write your post copy and paste it to another doc (a word doc- an email to
Yourself) before you submit. That way you have it in case it disappears. If you forget to do that, EVERY now and then i have been able to hit the back button and recover it. I have just realized that i am typing this in safari. So now I’m going to copy paste the whole thing on BWC Which i have open in Chrome on my phone and to an email to myself. I hope this helps.
If you don’t get a notification that says “ your comment will be visible after approval” then your post did disappear. Hit the back button to see if it is stil. In the comment box. If you DO get that notice Elle has to O.K. your post. If she’s off having a life that could take a few hours or a few days. Hang in there sisters
ReplyDeleteI do try and stay on top of posts -- checking at least daily. I was away on a trip last week so it might have been longer than 24 hours once or twice but I'm back!! And thanks Steam for the tech lesson. ;)
DeleteThank you, Steam! Just downloaded Chrome. 😊
Delete