I keep thinking about Elles post. County song sounds like us.
I retired my red lipstick 'cause you said you didn't like it I didn't wear my high heel shoes 'Cause I couldn't be taller than you It's what you wanted I thought I'd miss you I thought it hurt me I thought I'd miss you
But I miss me more.
I forgot I had dreams, I forgot I had wings Forgot who I was before I ever kissed you Yeah, I thought I'd miss you
As much as it pains me to say it, that, for me, was the silver lining in my husband's betrayal. I realized that I missed me. I realized that it was more important to care for myself than to have him care for me. In a nutshell, I realized that my betrayal of myself was far more painful than anything he had done. And I promised myself I wouldn't do that to myself again. You, LLP, have wings. Take flight.
This is so true! I have to remind myself of this when I start to beat myself up over taking “too long” to heal. I’m over 4 1/2 years on this journey. I still have moments where I am triggered or where I struggle, but they don’t knock me down like they used to. I laugh way more than I cry. The things that concern me now are more focused internally. Why do I hang on to some resentment? Why do I still focus on how people can make the terrible choices they do? Why do I take other peoples actions so personally? Despite all the work on my marriage, I fear I’ve not worked as hard as I should on myself. I’m not necessarily surprised by this. If I can push all the emotion off as others’ faults, I can avoid dealing with me. Ugh! And then i remind myself that learning to love myself is also a journey. The good news is that I see glimpses of light on the path. I’m trying really hard to focus on those.
You might like this one too: https://betrayedwivesclub.blogspot.com/2016/10/the-story-of-your-pain.html As for "why do you hold onto resentment?", etc., those are good questions. Ask yourself with a curious mind, rather than a self-critical one.
KMalibu, I'm glad you found us but so sorry you need to be here. Keep reading -- there's a ton of wisdom and support and compassion here, as well as the company of women (and some men) who know exactly what you're going through. When you're ready, I hope you'll share your story.
I really need a unbiased opinion from women.
ReplyDeleteAbout?
DeleteI keep thinking about Elles post. County song sounds like us.
ReplyDeleteI retired my red lipstick 'cause you said you didn't like it
I didn't wear my high heel shoes
'Cause I couldn't be taller than you
It's what you wanted
I thought I'd miss you
I thought it hurt me
I thought I'd miss you
But I miss me more.
I forgot I had dreams, I forgot I had wings
Forgot who I was before I ever kissed you
Yeah, I thought I'd miss you
But I miss me more
As much as it pains me to say it, that, for me, was the silver lining in my husband's betrayal. I realized that I missed me. I realized that it was more important to care for myself than to have him care for me. In a nutshell, I realized that my betrayal of myself was far more painful than anything he had done. And I promised myself I wouldn't do that to myself again.
DeleteYou, LLP, have wings. Take flight.
This is so true! I have to remind myself of this when I start to beat myself up over taking “too long” to heal. I’m over 4 1/2 years on this journey. I still have moments where I am triggered or where I struggle, but they don’t knock me down like they used to. I laugh way more than I cry.
ReplyDeleteThe things that concern me now are more focused internally. Why do I hang on to some resentment? Why do I still focus on how people can make the terrible choices they do? Why do I take other peoples actions so personally? Despite all the work on my marriage, I fear I’ve not worked as hard as I should on myself. I’m not necessarily surprised by this. If I can push all the emotion off as others’ faults, I can avoid dealing with me. Ugh! And then i remind myself that learning to love myself is also a journey. The good news is that I see glimpses of light on the path. I’m trying really hard to focus on those.
You might like this one too:
Deletehttps://betrayedwivesclub.blogspot.com/2016/10/the-story-of-your-pain.html
As for "why do you hold onto resentment?", etc., those are good questions. Ask yourself with a curious mind, rather than a self-critical one.
New here. Love this ... thank you.
ReplyDeleteKMalibu,
DeleteI'm glad you found us but so sorry you need to be here. Keep reading -- there's a ton of wisdom and support and compassion here, as well as the company of women (and some men) who know exactly what you're going through. When you're ready, I hope you'll share your story.
Thank you, Elle. I appreciate your reply and support.
DeleteI am so glad I found this site... I didn't know that so many married wives go through what I am going through with my marriage.
ReplyDelete