I've felt for years my husband was a cheater, online, messenger, obsessed with coworkers etc. He denies "cheating " as apparently his definition of cheating is "caught with someone "red handed. I don't care if he scored or failed. He tried. Of course I have felt like Nancy drew for months.
I've learned one thing: "Deleted=cheated". The most devastating part was to discover that it was that way since day one, 7 years ago. I feel ugly, fat, no self esteem and worse, I'm sad that my feelings for him are gone. Now he wants to "become a better person ".
I told him I need to stop seeing myself through his eyes. Not to expect empathy, caring, or fidelity from me. That if I can financially figure out a way to separate, he's gone. I've been in a delusion thinking my husband loved me. He doesn't. He loves himself and attention from all the wrong people.
I cannot heal until he's out of my life. I mourn for our intact family, with a beautiful 4 year old. The irony is that I recognized early in our relationship that he had poor self-esteem. I boosted his confidence, motivation and trust in himself. Instead of reciprocating he treated other women with confidence boosts. Tore my confidence to shreds.
I've felt for years my husband was a cheater, online, messenger, obsessed with coworkers etc.
ReplyDeleteHe denies "cheating " as apparently his definition of cheating is "caught with someone "red handed.
I don't care if he scored or failed.
He tried.
Of course I have felt like Nancy drew for months.
I've learned one thing:
"Deleted=cheated".
The most devastating part was to discover that it was that way since day one, 7 years ago.
I feel ugly, fat, no self esteem and worse, I'm sad that my feelings for him are gone.
Now he wants to "become a better person ".
I told him I need to stop seeing myself through his eyes. Not to expect empathy, caring, or fidelity from me. That if I can financially figure out a way to separate, he's gone. I've been in a delusion thinking my husband loved me.
He doesn't. He loves himself and attention from all the wrong people.
I cannot heal until he's out of my life. I mourn for our intact family, with a beautiful 4 year old.
The irony is that I recognized early in our relationship that he had poor self-esteem. I boosted his confidence, motivation and trust in himself. Instead of reciprocating he treated other women with confidence boosts. Tore my confidence to shreds.
And the lies!!! Omg the lies.