Far too often, our deluded spouses give us speeches that sound like English, but defy common sense. You might hear the “I love you but I’m not in love with you” version. You might hear the “yes we had a wonderful marriage, but she and I are soulmates” version. You might even be treated to a recounting of your marriage – in which you’re cast as a villain – that doesn’t sound remotely like the marriage you were in. The truth is that most people in affairs aren’t really bad people. So in order to justify to themselves why they’re engaging in behavior that simply doesn’t fit with their own moral code, they rewrite history…and reality…to come up with a version that allows them their affair and to feel okay about it.
We’ll get to how you can shine the harsh light of reality on their little fairy tale. For now, just take whatever he says with a very large shaker of salt (tequila would be nice, too, but later…when you’re less likely to abuse it!) and focus on yourself.