The days and weeks (and months!) following discovery or disclosure of a spouse's affair (D-Day) are fraught with drama. While much of it is warranted, it's worth considering that some...might be over-reacting.
Stay with me here.
I'm not suggesting that you're not entitled to the blind rage my friend Dana felt when her husband finally confessed to a workplace affair with his boss, something he'd been denying for more than two years. Or that you're not entitled to the incredible pain associated with learning that the one person who you thought had your back...was flat on his back with another woman.
What I'm referring to are the extreme measures that some of us go to...or at least consider...in an attempt to stop the pain. Sometimes it can be exactly what's needed. For example, I know of one BWC member who burned her mattress after learning her husband had brought his OW to their bed. Extreme. But, she reports, cathartic.
I wanted to sell our house when I learned that "encounters" had taken place here. In our laundry room! (The least she could have done was throw in a load or two for me while she was screwing my husband...). I couldn't imagine the day when I could separate my whites and colors, without wanting to separate my husband's head from his body. I gave up the idea when I realized that it would likely be me packing up our lives and getting ready for Open Houses. It was all I could do to get dressed and brush my teeth; moving was just too extreme, even for me.
I know of Betrayed Wives who burned items they learned were given to their spouses by the OW. (Come to think of it, fire seems to be something of an obsession with betrayed wives.) Or demanded their spouses quit jobs if it was a workplace affair.
And, of course, the most extreme Betrayed Wife move of them all: Lorena Bobbit dismembering her husbands...ummm...member.
What's the most extreme move you made when faced with betrayal? Did it lead to healing? Or harm? Would you do it again? Or do you regret it? Share your thoughts...
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- Feeling Stuck? (Part 15 FULL. PLEASE POST IN 16)
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- Separating or Divorcing?