bizarre "tweet". He noted, in 140 characters or less, that Elin Nordegren, Tiger Woods' wife, must have known about his infidelity. "No wife is blind enough to miss that much infidelity," Mr. Carrey tweeted.
He then went on to, essentially, blame the victim, suggesting she might be motivated to "participate" in her husband's infidelity due to "lifestyle/kids."
I've got news for all the Jim Carreys out there who consider us "willing participants" – I'm neither willing, not a participant...but there were certainly days when I wondered if I was blind, deaf and incredibly dumb.
I had not a clue. I used to laugh at the fact that the edges of my husband's mouth would twitch if he tried to lie to me, like about who polished off the Ben & Jerry's the night before. Turns out, 12 years of bold-faced lying later, the joke was most definitely on me.
My friend Annie was similarly blindsided to learn of her ex's affair. "I used to think women who didn't know their husbands were cheating were stupid, naive or ignoring it," she says. "I always thought that I would know..." Her voice trails off. She didn't know. It took a phone call from the other woman's boyfriend to alert her. Even then, she was disbelieving. It was only when the boyfriend played an incriminating voicemail recording of Annie's husband that the truth sunk in. It had been going on for months. And she'd been clueless.
But no. We're not blind. Or stupid. Most of us are simply loyal. Perhaps a bit too trusting. We're generally highly principled people who couldn't imagine cheating. (Though I'll confess: I can imagine the cheating part. It's the coming home and looking my spouse in the eye and lying about where I'd been that I knew I could never stomach.) And we tend to think that everyone else operates with the same moral code.
Willing participant? Nope. And, I feel quite certain, neither was Elin Nordegren.
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- Share Your Story: Finding Out (Part 3)
- Books for the Betrayed
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- Share Your Story: Multiple Affairs PART 2