- Join the Club...and Share Your Story
- Share Your Story: Multiple Affairs? FULL: POST IN PART 2
- Share Your Story: Finding Out (Part 3)
- Books for the Betrayed
- Share Your Story: Finding Out, Part 4 (3 is full!!...
- Feeling Stuck: Part 11 (FULL. PLEASE POST IN PART 12.)
- Feeling Stuck: Part 12 (FULL. PLEASE POST IN PART 13)
- Feeling Stuck: Part 13 (Just...wow. Keep on postin...
- Share Your Story: Multiple Affairs PART 2
Friday, May 14, 2010
Re-Empower Yourself with One Simple Question
And the question is this: What can I do about this?
So often we disempower ourselves. We wonder what we did wrong. Or what's inherently wrong with us. What we could have done differently. What the OW has that we don't. And on and on, until we're a quivering mess that feels scarcely entitled to use up someone else's oxygen.
And then there are the others. Those women who recognize from the get-go that cheating says a whole lot more about the other people involved than the blissfully unaware wife. The women who, though they might have moments of doubt and fear and anxiety, quickly realize that the only way to survive a spouse's affair is to assert their power. How?
By asking that one simple question: What can I do about this?
And let me tell you, if you think there's nothing you can do...you're absolutely wrong. There's always something you can do that honors and empowers you.
Even if you're financially unable to leave. Even if you have a newborn baby attached to your breast and four others underfoot. You can still ask the question. And come up with an answer that gives you your power back.
What can you do about this?
You can leave. Or you can start a savings account to enable you to leave at a point in the future. Or you can go back to school to gain skills to allow you to enter the workforce. Or you can rediscover a hobby that helps you find your center. Or you can start walking to lose weight, gain health and feel better about yourself. You can meet with a lawyer. You can meet with a therapist. You can find a support group. You can start a support group.
What's so empowering is that none of these options rely on your husband or ex-husband to do anything. He can go on being a cheating ass or he can claim the title of Reformed Husband of the Year. Either way, you're going to be okay. Because you've asked the question.
What can I do about this?