Tens of thousands of you found your way to my Open Letter to the Other Woman, which led many to my Second Letter to the Other Woman (they're oldies but goodies. Frankly, I don't give the Other Woman any thought these days).
The absolutely most-read post is my Seven Lies We Believe After A Spouse's Affair. I ache for the women who come to this site full of pain and a deep conviction that if they were somehow...better...their spouse would have remained faithful. My main purpose with this site is to convince each and every one of you that you are enough. He did not cheat because there's something wrong with you, he cheated because there's something wrong with him. Steam reminded all of us that you did nothing to deserve this.
It has been nine years since the Christmas from Hell when I learned of my husband's affair. Though I never imagined I'd ever feel anyone but grief and misery, here I am almost a decade later with a life that I love. Dare I say that my husband's affair led me on a path that has deepened my joy? Being so far out from those excruciating feelings, however, I began to wonder this past year if it was time to give up this blog. I worried that I was becoming detached from those wretched early days. I worried that I had less to offer. What's more, reading each comment and, often, responding takes a lot of time and energy and I have three children, a husband (the same one but new! And improved! And whore-free!), and a freelance career and volunteer activities and...and...and.... But when I imagined walking away, I didn't feel relief, I felt sadness. Thing is, I love you BWC warrior-sisters who come here. I love your kindness and your wisdom. I love your vulnerability and your honesty. I love your awesomeness and compassion. We rarely have the vitriol or the unkindness or the dismissal that I see on other sites. Almost without fail, the women on this site, even in the midst of their own worst pain, extend such warmth and compassion and support to each other that it makes me smile (sometimes through tears). You BWC warrior-sisters inspire me, every time I log on, to bring my absolute best self to this site. To continue to share what I'm learning. To revisit the ways in which I haven't been my best self in the hopes that I can spare you the same mistakes. To try and inspire you back. To remind each of you, as often as you need to be told, that you will survive this. And that it's possible to triumph over it and emerge with a stronger sense of your own worth. To use this horrible experience as the launch pad for a different way of showing up in this world, one that insists on respect and decency and honesty. To unlearn so much of the unhealthy stuff and gain some new lessons that will serve us better.
In June, after some consideration and consultation (thanks Steam!), I decided to add a Donate button. I don't ever want anyone to think they need to donate in order to feel welcome here. But please know that I'm incredibly grateful for and humbled by the women who've contributed. This site, of course, benefits hugely from those who've contributed with their comments, their support and their loyalty too.
However you found this site, please know you've discovered a place of support. I hate that so many of us need to be here. But I'm so incredibly grateful that we've found each other.