Reframing your story to reclaim your power

Fragments of Hope posted a while back about something she's done to heal. It's a powerful exercise, inspired by a book she read, and I was struck by the potential it had to really help others so I'm including it here: 

I've been doing so much work lately on core values that have arisen from childhood and on self-forgiveness. A powerful tool is to write out how we forgive ourselves for the things we tell ourselves about ourselves post affair or how we don't nurture ourselves. I've been doing a lot of meditations that emphasis all the areas where we don't respect and accept ourselves. Also I must very highly recommend a book by Meryn Callander: After his Affair, Women Rising from the Ashes of Infidelity. In chapter seven, she walks us through the ways we have betrayed ourselves, a gentle exploration of the ways we did not stand up for our needs or our boundaries with pertinent questions. With all the work I'm doing, I decided to listen to what I told myself post-affair and still sometimes tell myself. I first listed those core beliefs from childhood that still resonate. Later, as you will see, I answered each of them back and hope to eventually fully accept those new statements. 

I am stupid
You were trusting and optimistic and positive on the side of light and could not see the extent of the dark treacle of his maladjusted patterns and needs.

The family life I’ve created is worth nothing 
The comfort is you provide to others is invisible sometimes but more powerful for that.
What I contribute to the family is worthless (you thread through everything and are the fabric even if they don’t know) 

I am interchangeable with these other women he gets involved with 
Even if there are people behind the scenes it does not stop me on this new journey of self-respect, love and strength.

I am helpless in the face of others’ entitlement and vilification. 
I will be me, everything I am strongly and truly with whoever I want to be

I am not safe
If you are hurt again, next time it will be filled with fire and purpose

I am foolish
You were open and accepting of another human the the good in him but his twisted pattern overcame even what he says he wants

I am weak
You are a tree in a storm. You are a rock in weather. 

I am sad and pathetic
You are disappointed that others do not hold the same ideals of light, you have given yourself up to see the side of others. You can hold onto both with yourself as the strong core. 

I am afraid
You must rest in yourself and in a place of tenderness, you are a tree in the wind. 

I am confused
You have lost yourself in the weather, you must identify the roots of yourself, you must hold situations up to the light of your values. 

I will never know what I want to do. 
There is always something you want to do before you second guess yourself. You have been given clear warnings and signs. 

I will never fulfil my writing dream. 
You are very close, you are preparing your energy

I mean nothing
And everything

I am boring 
You see the quiet and remarkable things. 

My life will be and is a disappointment 
There is already so much done if unseen. You have clarity and intelligence and are unlocking energy. 

Wishing you all the chance to find yourselves and your strength again this year xx

Thanks Fragments of Hope for sharing this. It is so powerful. And so are you.