We're a society that hates pain, of any kind. We reach for Tylenol, or a glass of wine, or a shopping expedition...anything to make our uncomfortable feelings go away, even for just a short time.
When your heart has been shattered through betrayal, those same escapes beckon...but rarely work. Or certainly don't work for long.
What does work?
The answer is as surprising as it is simple. Feel your feelings. That's right. Stop wishing things were different. Or distracting yourself with food, alcohol, men or any other poison of choice.
Accept that this is excruciating. But know that it won't cripple you. You are stronger than this. You will survive. It will take time. But that time can be dramatically shortened by going through the pain, rather than trying to get around it.
Consider all those actions that always seemed too flakey (or was that just me?): meditation, silence, journaling... Anything that encourages you to face your feelings. They're just feelings, as one wise soul (okay, she's my therapist) often reminds me, not facts. And feelings are neither right or wrong, they just are.
If you're going through heartbreak, what are you doing for yourself?
If you've survived betrayal, what helped you through?
The kickass survival site for anyone who's ever been lied to, cheated on and left for dead.
For those who have suffered anguish, heartbreak, depression as a result of being betrayed, there is a means of helping oneself that is unusually simple and effective. It is a protocol called Emotional Freedom Techniques (Also called Meridian Tapping Techniques). A self-help method, EFT produces relief from the anguish of infidelity by collapsing the emotional disturbances caused by the betrayal.
ReplyDeleteA free manual describing this process is available at:
http://www.meridiantappingtechniques.com/
The free manual will provide enough information for a memeber of the Betrayed Wive's Club to begin helping herself immediately.
I'm not familiar with EFT, though one of the BWC found EMDR quite helpful. Thanks for posting.
ReplyDelete