In it, she lays bare her need to draw men's attention to her, away from their significant other. Unattached men, it seems, were less appealing than those for whom she had an adversary, a competitor. Seduction was sweeter, apparently, when it was harder won.
She was rarely satisfied with her conquests. The incessant hunger for attention was not so easily tamed. She would grow tired and bored with someone whose gaze for her no longer burned as brightly and be attracted by the next shiny new man for whom she could do her crazy dance of "look at me! Love me!"
It's a candid look inside the mind of women who prey on attached men. I'm unsure why she wrote it, frankly. She had nothing really to gain and plenty to lose. But she's shown us something we rarely see so honestly: the truth about the Other Woman. Or at least some of them.
One of the points that particularly struck me was this: There was nothing special about the men she sought. It wasn't about love or soul-mates or star-crossed lovers. These men were merely different.
And different can be intoxicating. Until it isn't anymore. Until it's revealed to simply narcissism dressed in sexy clothing.
It's true also for our unfaithful spouses. These women they cheat with aren't special. But they are different. And so our husbands construct a story based on what they imagine they see in that person's eyes. Interest. Desire. Escape. A parallel universe.
It's difficult for we betrayeds to understand, unless we too have been tempted by the allure of possibility. To us, these women are so obvious. They're manipulative. They're morally bankrupt. They're self-centered. They're crazy. They need a good therapist not a new boyfriend.
And it can be tough for our spouses to realized they've been had. That they were nothing special themselves. That they were being used. They'll sometimes resist admitting that. It's humiliating, after all.
Gilbert recognized the menace she'd become and created the conditions for change. For that, I applaud her. But I ache for the women who were devastated by her seduction campaign. We know their pain.