I am feeling so much stronger lately. Like I've had a little "growth spurt" or something. My sense of humor is fully back. That took an entire year. I feel more of "myself". Still cautious. Still with open eyes. Still prone to question everything... but more solid. My marriage has been feeling quite stable for a while, but it took longer for ME to feel secure in knowing/trusting who I am. There's no way I'm finished with the pain and no way I won't have setbacks, but I do think I've moved a rung up the ladder somehow in the last month. This Wednesday hug is so true. Besides putting in the effort, time had to pass and I had to sit with all of this and be patient. I will keep having to do that, but I am moving forward. I guess I have been even when I didn't feel it. I say that so that those of you who may be feeling like you're stuck or not moving forward... with time and continued self care, you probably are moving forward under the surface. You may wake up to a "growth spurt" if you're patient. Hugs!
Oh my peeps. I just finished listening to a podcast by Gabor Mate on Sounds True. I will listen again. So much to think about regarding early childhood trauma, addictions, ADHD. Wow, wish I had a medical background.
I feel stuck! It's been 14 months and although my husband has gone out of his way with me..I don't feel the trust or love him the way I used to. I believe he will always have "someone else" please please help me move on and get my confidence back...I need to find my happy again. I am so tired. We argue and go back to that dd all over again! Hope says I was never around but yet I was always home...supporting..waiting for him to come home. Why does he turn the blame onto me? Arghhhhb
I am feeling so much stronger lately. Like I've had a little "growth spurt" or something. My sense of humor is fully back. That took an entire year. I feel more of "myself". Still cautious. Still with open eyes. Still prone to question everything... but more solid. My marriage has been feeling quite stable for a while, but it took longer for ME to feel secure in knowing/trusting who I am. There's no way I'm finished with the pain and no way I won't have setbacks, but I do think I've moved a rung up the ladder somehow in the last month. This Wednesday hug is so true. Besides putting in the effort, time had to pass and I had to sit with all of this and be patient. I will keep having to do that, but I am moving forward. I guess I have been even when I didn't feel it. I say that so that those of you who may be feeling like you're stuck or not moving forward... with time and continued self care, you probably are moving forward under the surface. You may wake up to a "growth spurt" if you're patient. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteann, that is a really beautiful and calming sentiment. Thank you for sharing, it helps put things in perspective.
DeleteProblem is, each time I try to do just that I seem to get a different answer - sigh.
ReplyDeleteOh my peeps. I just finished listening to a podcast by Gabor Mate on Sounds True. I will listen again. So much to think about regarding early childhood trauma, addictions, ADHD. Wow, wish I had a medical background.
ReplyDeleteHe is so fascinating. I've never heard such a compassionate approach to trauma and addiction than his. One of my favourites!
DeleteI feel stuck! It's been 14 months and although my husband has gone out of his way with me..I don't feel the trust or love him the way I used to. I believe he will always have "someone else" please please help me move on and get my confidence back...I need to find my happy again. I am so tired. We argue and go back to that dd all over again! Hope says I was never around but yet I was always home...supporting..waiting for him to come home. Why does he turn the blame onto me? Arghhhhb
ReplyDelete