Perfect timing, Elle. Today is the anniversary of the first time my husband cheated. The first time was just a blow job (never did I think that "just a blow job" would feel like small scale cheating, but given what came next, it does. Life is odd that way) but the next anniversaries are the big ones. In some ways knowing specific dates is helpful because those days come and go, but in others, it really magnifies the behavior on those days and the day feels quite suffocating. Either way, as I deal with this first of four annual days of crap, I'll keep these words in mind and try to ready my heart for the big days in June. Thanks for the reminder.
New Mom, Be extra gentle with yourself on those days. They will bruise your heart. But pay attention, also, to where you are. Look behind and acknowledge that you're not where you were this time last year. That you're healing, incrementally.
Thanks, Elle. This is a challenging time of year, for sure. It is helpful to note the difference between this year and last. Hopefully these days will get easier, as you said--incrementally. Hugs.
New Mom, One thing I read from Elle in a previous post about Dday helped a lot. The gist was that you get to choose how to spend that day ahead of time now. I put some thought into my 1st anniversary just last month and felt stronger at the end of the day for doing that. Wishing you well!
I like that idea Ann! I have to take a bunch of tests for work. I scheduled one for June 7th, one of the days he slept with the OW. It felt like a way to distract myself but also to bring (hopefully) a positive accomplishment to that day.
Good for you for taking care of yourself and making that day what you needed it to be. Hugs to you!
Perfect timing, Elle. Today is the anniversary of the first time my husband cheated. The first time was just a blow job (never did I think that "just a blow job" would feel like small scale cheating, but given what came next, it does. Life is odd that way) but the next anniversaries are the big ones. In some ways knowing specific dates is helpful because those days come and go, but in others, it really magnifies the behavior on those days and the day feels quite suffocating. Either way, as I deal with this first of four annual days of crap, I'll keep these words in mind and try to ready my heart for the big days in June. Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteNew Mom,
DeleteBe extra gentle with yourself on those days. They will bruise your heart. But pay attention, also, to where you are. Look behind and acknowledge that you're not where you were this time last year. That you're healing, incrementally.
Thanks, Elle. This is a challenging time of year, for sure. It is helpful to note the difference between this year and last. Hopefully these days will get easier, as you said--incrementally. Hugs.
DeleteNew Mom,
ReplyDeleteOne thing I read from Elle in a previous post about Dday helped a lot. The gist was that you get to choose how to spend that day ahead of time now. I put some thought into my 1st anniversary just last month and felt stronger at the end of the day for doing that. Wishing you well!
I like that idea Ann! I have to take a bunch of tests for work. I scheduled one for June 7th, one of the days he slept with the OW. It felt like a way to distract myself but also to bring (hopefully) a positive accomplishment to that day.
DeleteGood for you for taking care of yourself and making that day what you needed it to be. Hugs to you!
I love this.
ReplyDelete