Wednesday, July 4, 2018

UPDATE: Join our secret sisterhood for a "me too" weekend: Sept. 28 - 30

I'm thrilled to announce that we'll be joined at our retreat by Chris Lindner, a trained peer counsellor with the Infidelity Counseling Network. After experiencing infidelity herself and getting her footing back, Chris has determined to help others. After completing coach certification training via the Infidelity Recovery Institute, she has set up her business: Help From BetrayalThere are a few spots left at our retreat. We'll be working Chris into our schedule. Hope you decide to join us!


Are there any more powerful words than "me too", spoken in solidarity with another's pain? Nobody knows betrayal like those of us who've been betrayed. Join the BWC secret sisterhood at our showing up (no "retreat" for us!),
September 28 - 30, at a huge beach house on the shores of the Atlantic Ocean in Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina.

To give you a sense of what you can expect, here's our agenda (to date):


Friday, September 28
Arrive by 7 p.m.
Welcome reception, catered
•We'll gather together to enjoy some great food and champagne and relax after our flights.
•There will be access to the swimming pool and beach to unwind.

Saturday, September 29
•Breakfast 9 a.m.
•Activities: biking, kayaking, paddle-boarding, swimming
•12:30 - 1:30: Lunch, catered (vegetarian options available)
•1:30 - 3:00 p.m. Conversation circle: Our chance to share our stories, talk over wherever we feel stuck, offer up what's working for us, and crowd-source help.
•Afternoon: Afternoon: Massage available for those who want it (an on-site masseuse is offering massage -- foot, hand, scalp, shoulders, back, full-body! Whatever you want. She works regularly with those who've experienced trauma)
3:00 - 6:00: Activities available: biking, paddle-boarding, swimming, kayaking.
7 p.m. Dinner at a local restaurant overlooking the ocean

Sunday, September 30
•Early-birds are welcome to coffee/tea, croissants
•11 a.m.: Brunch
•Group check-in/conversation around the pool
•Activities available: biking, paddle-boarding, kayaking, swimming
•3:00 p.m. Departure

If you have any concerns, please let me know. If there's something you'd like to see but don't, please let me know. If you need help spreading out the payments, please let me know. This is a chance for 15 of you to find support and compassion and to give yourself a break and let someone else take care of the details.
Included in the $1,098 cost: all meals and snacks, massage, activities, champagne reception, and accommodation for two nights. Not included: airfare and transportation to and from the beach house.

38 comments:

  1. Still Standing 1May 30, 2018 at 4:16 AM

    I wish there was a like or a heart button because I AM SO EXCITED for this event!!! Can't wait to see you all in person. I have been saving and saving and am about halfway there. Thank goodness for my magical budgeting software. Forsooth.
    I'm seriously considering driving down. Its under 10 hours (what I drive to get to Maine) and I fricking looove a road trip.
    The gas will be cheaper than airfare plus Lyft for me, even if I do decide to stop on the way home Sunday and finish the drive Monday... :) There's always a way to make it work.
    Don't let money or perceived obstacles stop you from doing this amazing thing for yourself. There are ways, ask for help. :)

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    1. SS1, I think we’re practically neighbors, and I wouldn’t mind carpooling, however, I have figured out yet whether I can afford the expense.

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    2. Still Standing 1June 1, 2018 at 12:11 PM

      I'd definitely carpool with you Periwinkle!

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    3. If anyone is driving and would consider carpooling, let me know and I'll send out an e-mail connecting you to each other. And Periwinkle, let me know what you're thinking re. payment. I can certainly be flexible. I don't want this to be prohibitive for anyone who wants to come.

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    4. Thanks, Elle! I am on the fence right now also because it’s the weekend before the Army 10-Miler i very impulsively signed up to run! I’ll let you know ASAP if it looks like I can budget for this. Thank you, I’d really really love to be there (and I’d love for my friend to come too, she’s finding her strength, I’m so proud of her!)

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  2. I am so sorry I cannot make this happen because of the new grand child who is due Sept. 28. Talk about timing challenges. I would love to share my contact info with those on this list whom I've connected with over the past almost three years. This would especially be Steam and Hopeful30 and those whose husbands bought sex and used porn. It is still so lonely out here in Secret Land. If anyone figures out how to do this exchange of info in a confidential way, please advise. I'm willing to give my email with the hopes of maybe a Skype call.

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    1. I am unable to go. I am committed to obligations with one of my kids already. This all sounds amazing. You are so right that it is lonely in secret land. No matter how much empathy my husband has and how understanding he is he will never be in my shoes. Thanks for always being here and sharing your thoughts.

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  3. I’m so bloody jealous this sounds so flipping amazing .. dream come true .. I start my masters course the week before and I am financialy shit at the moment ., had no idea I would be a divorcee when I agreed to go a few months ago but things have changed dramatically the last few weeks and my
    Biggest concern right now is making myself financially secure long term . I am envious of those going this is going to be once in a lifetime ; ) xx

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    1. Aw rats, Sam A. Would love to meet you in "real" life. Funny how much we know about each other on this site. Yet, we'd trip over each other on the street and be none the wiser. A friend of mine and I used to imagine a secret piece of jewellery or something that would signal to another that we were part of the club. :(

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  4. Beach girl we’ll figure out a way. Am i selfish to hope the sweet baby comes in healthy and early? I do wish you’d be there

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    1. Steam/Elle, how I wish the timing of this much wanted pregnancy met MY timeline. Sigh. I would honestly consider a Skype call with everyone if that were possible. What the heck, right? We all have trust issues so it is a bit scary to even put that out but I so wanted to meet and greet the two of you so much because we appear to share the same spouse.

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  5. This is great. I know the feeling I got when you first hinted at the idea... pure butterflies and joy.
    Blindsided

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  6. Would really love to do this but things are too unstable with my children to consider it right now Maybe in the future. I see the closeness some of you share and you have given me precious wise words in some of my darkest moments. I feel the intimacy and support this group offers and I am so grateful. I wish I was brave enough to be known to you by someone other than anonymous" I wish I was further along with this and could write something half as well as many of you write and support. Really stuck in the grief of my teens. Trying to keep them engaged in professional help....all of us receiving it but had a major setback last night with our son getting physical with my husband. Sunday graduation party looking like a challenge to pull of...if I am even able. Our son has a planned admission .Monday for post concussive syndrome headaches for the past four years....praying this will help...it is just so much on top of trying to know the wisest steps to take with my marriage. To help remind myself...I will sign with a new name..."not alone"

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    1. Not Alone/Anonymous, welcome. This is not a place any of us ever thought we would land. It sounds like you have your plate full. I'm not sure I read your story of how you got here but welcome to the secret sisterhood of pain, hope and sometimes, reconciliation.

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    2. Anonymous,
      I know that exhaustion that comes from trying to keep everyone afloat while you're treading water yourself. Teens are draining at the best of times. Keep posting here. Find support. And don't forget to find time to take care of you, whatever that looks like. You can't be the anchor others need if you've got nothing left to give.
      Glad your teens are getting professional help. It can be tough to convince them that they'll benefit from it but my own kids have learned so much about managing stress/anxiety through working with psychologists.

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  7. Anon it’s easy. Before you post you’ll see an option for “name URL”. Just pick a name. You don’t need to put a URL. Pure anonymity, “not alone”. :)

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  8. SomeWhereOutThereJune 2, 2018 at 1:07 AM

    I may be interested in joining you. Is there still spots available, and when is the deadline? When is the money due and to whom? Thank you so much.

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    1. SomeWhere,
      Yes, there are still spots. I don't have an official deadline. I've been swamped with the book I'm writing -- the survival guide to infidelity -- so I'm just collecting names and will sort out payment sometime soon. It's pretty casual, as you can tell.

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  9. SomeWhereOutThereJune 2, 2018 at 1:29 AM

    I may be interested in attending. Can you please provide me with some details as to a reservation deadline and where and when payment can be sent? Thank you so much.

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  10. Well that's how you get your name at the top!! It's true you learn something new ever day. Lol

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  11. I am interested in this event. Can you provide anymore information such as is there still any availabilities? when the money is due? To whom do we send it to? Directions to the beach house? Any info you can provide would be most helpful. Thank you very much.

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    1. Hey Anonymous,
      Yes, there is still availability. I'm sorting out payment. I'll give people the chance to pay all at once, or spread payments out over two, or four instalments. I'll have that in place in the next week or so. The beach house is in Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina, about 45 miles from either Wilmington or Myrtle Beach. Right on the ocean.

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  12. Hello ladies… I sat and read several posts today. I have not been on this site in quite a while. I am very excited for all of you that are going to the meet up on the beach… You will have a lovely time.

    I simply wanted to chime in and let you all know of the book I am currently reading. I am always striving for more peace and mindfulness in my life. I firmly believe that we can continue to grow into our Self (our greater Self, the capital S, Self) and shine a brighter light in the world, if we choose to do so.

    The book is the Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. Treat yourselves. Love and Hugs!!

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    1. Hey Melissa,
      So nice to hear from you. And thanks for the recommendation. I'm a pretty voracious reader so I'll look for it.
      Glad you're well.

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  13. I so want to come to this. It coincides with another trip we take every year and reserve a year out. I'm hoping the dates will work for the next retreat!! I can't wait to hear how great it was to connect with each other in real life.

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    1. Sounds good Ann. Enjoy your trip. And hopefully another time...

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  14. I’m not able to plan more than a few days at a time given that hospice has helped me to live a day at a time!

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    1. sorry you won't be joining us Theresa. But glad that you're finding peace in your circumstances.

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    2. My spirit will be there and if my circumstances change by then I may still show up on the beach and just wonder if anyone I see was one of you sweet women! Hugs!

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  15. Hi, just saw the information about the beach retreat. Brings tears to my eyes, such a beautiful idea. I’m canadian but seriously considering attending as I could really use the comradery of other women who truly understand. May I ask for all the details of the trip please? Take care

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    1. Hi Tam,
      I'm Canadian too. I'm coming from Southern Ontario. We'd love you to join us. Happy to answer any questions you might have. The camaraderie is exactly whey we're doing this!

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  16. I was so excited when the idea of this retreat was first mentioned! I had every intention of attending, but unfortunately have a week in Florida planned with my husband, oldest son, and his fiance'. It was booked before the date of this retreat had been confirmed. I hope hope hope it proves to be a fabulous weekend for all who attend, and maybe another in the future will be considered. I'm 8 years out and some days it still feels raw. I love this site and all of you brave survivors of utter heart break.

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    1. Hi TJ,
      No worries. It sounds as though your trip will be a special one. Glad you weighed in and hope you'll continue to share your thoughts here. Some days it certainly feels more raw than others...

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  17. I was so excited when I saw the idea of a retreat and had every intention of being there. Unfortunately, I have a trip to Florida already booked for that same weekend, so I will be unable to attend... sad face! I hope it proves to be a fabulous weekend for all and that another may be planned in the future, as I will not miss it! This site has been a savior for me! It's been 8 years and some days it is still very raw... I continue to find a place of contentment. Safe travels to those attending the gathering. God Bless!

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  18. I was excited about this so much i even told my H ... hey i might be going away to meet this group of awesome ladies that saved me? His eyes bugged but he didnt ask for details kinda like when i told him about the lady that used to call me weekly from the network ... he swore they were gonna send me a bill ...ha! Unfortunately that weekend coincides with a few personal to dos ... ill be thinking of you all ... so jelly!

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  19. I’m so jealous ladies, it sounds like a dream : ) xx

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  20. Still Standing 1July 5, 2018 at 12:05 PM

    I am so excited about this latest addition. Wowowow! I can't wait to go. And be there. And do all the things. And hugs.

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