I don't feel very courageous today. And I'm not sure how to even try again tomorrow. I found out 4 months ago that my husband had slept with 5 women over the last 2 years. All coworkers. He was a manager at a restaurant. 2 one night stands. One, a hand full of times. One for a couple months. But one... lasted 7 months while I was pregnant with our son. He claimed 4 months ago that he was telling the whole truth. I knew in my heart he was not. I found out a couple days ago major things he was lying about. It was 7 months, not 4 like he said. He slept with her days before I gave birth when he had said it ended months before. It never truly ended. We actually just moved. He had been to her apartment while I was home with our daughter waiting for him. He even had a burner phone. Finding out it was so much more serious than I knew is devastating. I can't eat. I can't sleep. Everything was going so well. He quit his job that he loved. (and that allowed him to be so unfaithful) He moved 3 states away so we could be close to my family. I do feel like he loves me. I know it's over. He's here now. But I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop letting it play out in my mind. And all the times I suspected... and almost got in the car to go see and didn't. Why didn't I! I'm just so lost. I feel like I'm in a fog.
It's so difficult to carry on!!! But I really don't want to give up on my marriage. My husband is having a very unusual affair. He is having a virtual affair with some girl who is very far away. They have never met yet. But are in constant touch with each other over chats and video calls. He has changed his daily routine to be with her as there is a time gap between them. The problem is I have confronted him and he has told me on my face that he will not leave what he is doing as nothing is real. But I still feel betrayed. I really feel so helpless and lost.
I don't feel very courageous today. And I'm not sure how to even try again tomorrow. I found out 4 months ago that my husband had slept with 5 women over the last 2 years. All coworkers. He was a manager at a restaurant. 2 one night stands. One, a hand full of times. One for a couple months. But one... lasted 7 months while I was pregnant with our son. He claimed 4 months ago that he was telling the whole truth. I knew in my heart he was not. I found out a couple days ago major things he was lying about. It was 7 months, not 4 like he said. He slept with her days before I gave birth when he had said it ended months before. It never truly ended. We actually just moved. He had been to her apartment while I was home with our daughter waiting for him. He even had a burner phone. Finding out it was so much more serious than I knew is devastating. I can't eat. I can't sleep. Everything was going so well. He quit his job that he loved. (and that allowed him to be so unfaithful) He moved 3 states away so we could be close to my family. I do feel like he loves me. I know it's over. He's here now. But I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop letting it play out in my mind. And all the times I suspected... and almost got in the car to go see and didn't. Why didn't I! I'm just so lost. I feel like I'm in a fog.
ReplyDeleteIt's so difficult to carry on!!! But I really don't want to give up on my marriage. My husband is having a very unusual affair. He is having a virtual affair with some girl who is very far away. They have never met yet. But are in constant touch with each other over chats and video calls. He has changed his daily routine to be with her as there is a time gap between them. The problem is I have confronted him and he has told me on my face that he will not leave what he is doing as nothing is real. But I still feel betrayed. I really feel so helpless and lost.
ReplyDelete