And so when it was revealed as vulnerable and in imminent peril, it inspired shock and grief in millions around the world. No matter if you were Catholic or atheist, French or not. Notre Dame, "Our Mother", represented something that we craved. Permanence. Trustworthiness. Reliability. Evidence that humans are capable of creating beauty and sanctuary, even when there's so much evidence of cruelty and betrayal.
Our marriages felt similarly solid for many of us. We took those vows, perhaps in a church though likely not as grand as Notre Dame. We created a life with someone we chose as trustworthy, and though we knew the risks – it's hard to ignore a divorce rate of 50% – we believed that our marriage was different. Ours would survive. It had already withstood challenges. But it was solid. Built by humans in hope of touching the divine.
So when we find our marriage engulfed in flames, what do we do? When the spires topple, do we cover our eyes and turn the channel? Or do we root for the firefighters, bravely and strategically tackling the fire that threatens to swallow the building whole?
Our marriages are not 800-year-old structures. But Notre Dame wasn't just a building. It was a testament to faith of all kinds. To commitment. To restoring what holds value to us. To history.
Notre Dame, like a marriage, is as fragile as our belief in it.
So powerful. I often find myself in limbo of how to perceive the nightmare I am in the midst of. On my dark days I feel I am trapped in the burning. But what you write is so helpful. I am not trapped and though my marriage is indeed on fire, I can choose to add kindling or water. Too many days I let it burn and occasionally I fan the flames with my pain. Thank you for the reminder that I can choose a more helpful option. I'm trying every day to move a little further out of the darkness.
ReplyDeleteYour words, your sentiment, is beautiful.
ReplyDelete