The kickass survival site for anyone who's ever been lied to, cheated on and left for dead.
This was my main take away from this horrendous pain. I will take care of me. During the highs and lows, for the rest of my life. I matter to ME even if I don't to anyone else. Strange how I really thought I was doing everyone else a favor by sacrificing my needs for theirs. Turns out they like me better this way (and more importantly, I like me better too.)
I spent all my time trying to make sure everyone was happy.... Ever did it occur for me to make sure I was happy... Let alone happy with me as a person. Then again when your being taken advantage of you ever really know until something slaps you in the face. The day I found out was my face slap, as everyday since "that day" has been a day I learned more about me and what I didn't do for myself. Example..... I never ever would choose what to eat so that I wouldn't upset anyone. I ne'er said no when someone needed a favor even if I was exhausted from staying up all night with a sick child. I would never spend money on anything expensive for myself...... Literally I wanted the best for my husband and children..... What I didn't realize was by wing this way for them I wasn't being the beast example of me for them. Sometimes we all need to be told no, we need to pick up our own mess and fix our own problems. I had to learn to let them learn this.... So the first time my husband had to deal with his own problems was shocking to him and me.... But I couldn't fix "we" I could only fix "me." By doing this he was given responsibility for his actions and we could fix "we."You girls stay strong and know you are wanted and loved - Ann from Texas