Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Elin Nordegren: The Face of Betrayal

I'm sure Tiger Woods' wife Elin never planned on becoming the current face of betrayal, following, most recently, Elizabeth Edwards and Jenny Sanford. But there she is, her face "etched with pain", according to news reports.
Of course her face is etched with pain. Of course, she looks tired. Pain over betrayal is hardly news.
Why is it treated, then, as news?
Well I could be cynical and assume that it's because she's gorgeous and rich and the details of her husband's infidelity is so salacious that writing about her gives the paper another chance to dredge up the dirt. However – Pollyanna alert! – I like to think that it's because Elin and these other women, who bear their betrayal with a dignity and grace but never shame, offer the rest of us hope that we, too, can survive.
I suspect the thinking goes that if they can endure, with cameras in their windows, mistresses dishing on the talk shows and the whole world offering up an opinion of whether they should stay or go, surely we mortals can endure the stares of the neighborhood gossip and the possibility that our lame excuses for our puffy eyes sound...lame to the ears of our friends and colleagues. If they can overcome infidelity, we hope, then we can, too.
So, Elin, though you never wanted to become the poster woman for triumphing over infidelity, please know that you're inspiring many of us. Might be little comfort when your kids are asking when daddy's coming home. Might not help when you spot yet another tabloid cover in the supermarket selling lies and half-truths about your life. But you're certainly helping us.


  1. My heart aches for Elin Nordegren. Elin loved, respected and trusted Tiger Woods. Elin’s world was shattered by Tiger’s savage betrayal and her trust is gone forever. Elin appears to be in an emotional struggle, there are too many lies and infidelities and too much pain and suffering. Elin still keeps going on for her children. I just hope and pray that whatever Elin decides to do in the future will work the best for her and the children.

  2. It is hard to watch. Harder still when we can imagine her pain...because we know it too.

  3. It was so easy for me, when I discovered my ex's Tiger Woods' tendencies, to walk right out the door. I had no kids. I really feel for all you women who've been in that situation but have kids you have to think of first. Sometimes, you have to swallow your pride and that must hurt.... a lot. I feel for you all.
    Another cheated-on sister

  4. It took me a long time to not feel "trapped" by being a mom. I was so sure that I was staying for my children. Now...I'm not so sure. I think the reasons we stay can be more complex than perhaps even we understand. I understood addiction, having grown up in an alcoholic home (height of irony: I was so busy making sure I wasn't marrying an alcoholic, I missed all other signs of addiction...:-/), I didn't know where to go or what to do. I was so emotionally battered by it, I was barely capable of taking a shower. By the time I felt strong enough to make some decisions...those decisions looked very different.
    That said, I do envy childless women their freedom to consider only their own wellbeing.

  5. I feel for Elin too. Mainly because whatever help she chooses to seek for herself (books, counselor, s-anon, etc.) is being watched by the paps (my spelling is awful..just using lingo). I have thought about buying some of the ones that have helped me and send them to her via fedex or ups just so no one would trace them back to her. I am the same as you Who Are We and have bought a ton of books to read and help me through this pain.



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