Last Monday my divorce was final. I took the day off to go to court and the hearing took less than 15 minutes. I call this the year of my humbling and believe me it was humbling to have my marriage disolved quickly and without my ex husband there. People kept telling me congrats and I didn't know how to respond. I didn't feel like congratulations were in order, but what are you supposed to say? Lord knows, I don't know the rules for this. I know I'm another step closer to something and hopefully that something is peace. My wants and needs are so different. I want my husband back, I want what I thought was my life back, but I know I need a life without him in it. I'm so lonely and I'm just ready to move on and I'm closer and closer to truly letting go of my old dreams.
Friends threw me a divorce party and I highly recommend one. It was a way to release tension and have a few drinks and even some laughs. My party was the day after my divorce and a friend took a photo of me asleep on the couch after several cups of "D Punch". I can't get the image of me on the couch out of my head. She laughed about it, but I could see the pain in my face and my jaw was clenched tightly. I don't want to be that woman anymore!
My last year has been so full of pain that I haven't enjoyed anything, so I'm ready for change. I've always been a bit of a homebody, a comfy couch and good book are two of my favorite things, but I say yes to almost every invite issued. Even if I'm tired I go out if someone offers. I've started taking yoga classes and that has helped immensly. I'm taking a break from the self- help books and I'm trying not to dwell on my pain. It used to consume me, and it still does at times, but I don't want it to define me. I want the cheesy clichés to apply to me: It's all for the best. I'm better off. It will get better. I'm determined to make those statements true. I'm ready to be ready to let go.
Meg, hey...I also went through a divorce. Not fun. A couple of things. Go on a dating site and put up a great picture of you. The guys that write you will help your ego. You don't have to go on dates. Just keep putting them off. It helps ease a little of the pain. Second, I waited 1 year before I had sex with anyone else. Also, it was with a guy at my class reunion that I couldn't stand in highschool. The part that was good is that it was in my old hometown and had to do nothing with my ex. It was all me and my history. Okay lastly...If you don't heal yourself with your husband's infidelity....you will end up in the same marriage, different husband name. Good luck Meg. I imagine there are great non-cheating me out there. I wouldn't know. My husband now is a sex addict (my ex said he never cheated and I had no proof...he was an alcoholic though). I have a BWC support group and it is so helpful. They have all been through this.
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