But every Sunday night, my room-mates would go to a nearby video store and rent porn. Really raunchy porn. And though I considered myself open-minded and can credit my university years with giving me a certain confidence in my sexual self, I loathed the Sunday night porn fest. My bedroom was right above the living room and the sounds (EGADS, the sounds!) would float upward, distracting me from reading, homework or whatever else I was trying to do.
But though I hated it, I nonetheless considered it harmless. And continued to throughout my life.
My husband, on the other hand, indulged, though secretly. It wasn't until after D-Day that the extent of his porn "habit" was revealed. And it wasn't until he really examined what messages he got from porn (that women were always sexually available, that they loved it fast and furious, that they were no more than objects to satisfy men) that he could acknowledge just how far along the path to porn addiction he'd ventured.
But it never dawned on me that women could become addicted to porn, too, though I suppose I would have acknowledged it was possible.
A recent video, from a courageous woman whose blog I follow, gives the addiction issue a female face...and a glimmer of hope that we can discuss this candidly.
Do I think all porn is bad? No, I do not.
I think much of it degrades women, but fortunately, not all. And, frankly, it has never really done anything for me...other than provide a source of derision or amusement.
And I think, like anything that removes us from our lives and offers up an intoxicating tonic of empowerment, entitlement and easy access, porn can be dangerous.
What are your thoughts? Do you use porn? Did porn have anything to do with the infidelity in your marriage?
I do not use porn and have never had a desire to. It makes me feel uncomfortable and a little grosses out. I would be horrified if a partner was watching it with me and getting off on it.
ReplyDeleteHowever I find out that my husband had been doing just that behind my back the whole time we were together.
I made no secrets of my distaste for anything pornographic, stripperish or anything along those lines.
Since finding out he has a porn problem- I have sat him in front of the computer and made him read some anti porn sites. He came to me crying after reading just a few of the articles and feels ashamed and sorry for his behaviour.
I think our society has a lot to answer for my husband turning out the way he has. Soft porn can be found in advertising, magazines on billboards in movies. It's endless and almost everywhere you turn. Porn of any sort is so easy to get. Influenced by this since a young age and having friends with the same attitudes and you get husbands that have no boundaries living the single life with happy abandon.