Happy New Year to all... Life is tough in 2018 but i strongly believe that life is going to be great in 2019... Pray hard and wishes all of us here have a good 2019..
Ready to start a new year, wow, that season is over! Our strongest Steam. I read your Christmas post. My heart ached so much for you. I'm out of country so I take my I-pad and tried to reply. Didn't work. Next I tried a new IP address to respond. Didn't work. I tried a computer in hot spot, near a volcano, no it didn't work. So I feel like I need to write what I was going to write after Christmas. You can tell me to go to hell and back that I don't know shit about you or your marriage. That is ok but we always tell each other the truth no matter if you are going to like me or not. Ok, here goes. My observation differed from the other responses. Your 2nd Dday brought you to knees and lower. You were totally devastated. Your heart was broken in a million pieces. That is why I say on Christmas day, your H may have been struggling with his addiction. Who paints on Christmas Day. I would if I need to used up energy and to stop me from doing something else. Cheaters have triggers too. Like me we will never know the entire truth so maybe Christmas reminded him of his addiction? I thought painting you in was symbolic. He was struggling. So then in a few days you have the Christmas you missed. What made him turn around so quickly? What did he do that he couldn't on Christmas day but several days after? I just don't want you to be in a false recovery. I would take his computer to a computer shop so they could validate where he has been on the web. I would tell him, you fooled me twice so in order to believe you I'm going to take your computer to a specialist who can verify you are telling the truth.. You H is the sneakiest of all the cheaters I read about on this site. He is smart like that. I think he was struggling with his addiction and could tell you because of shame or guilt so he had 2 choice work through it by painting or his other go to choice. No sex for SA? Has there been way to bridge that gap. I understand where you are coming from and recover has that part too. Are you still in a way punishing him, making him pay? Yes, he deserves that and more but at the expensive of your marriage you are trying to rebuild. I don't where you are in the 2nd healing process but he damn lucky to have any chance. I just would be more observant, validating electronics and making sure he has stopped being so sneaky. Just my opinion but the red lights went off when I read your post. All my love to you, no kidding. Ok, tell to butt out.
SS1 I read your Christmas story. You are a good person. You took a terrible experience for your children. You let them work through it. You turned something so negative into something positive and a life lesson. You are highly respected by me, you had every right to break down but you were brave. Love to you
LLP thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Its so heard to know if i am doing OK for my kids, but I feel like I handled this situation the best way I knew how and without going crazy trying to fix it. How do you fix a mess like that!? I'm feeling pretty burnt out right now, but no surprise. I felt like this most of the time when living with my ex. It doesn't surprise me that he sucks the life out of me when I have to deal with him now. I think I did OK though. My girl drove herself back up to college for the semester. The next morning I got a text from her saying that she missed me. I'm calling that a win. :)
Happy New Year to all...
ReplyDeleteLife is tough in 2018 but i strongly believe that life is going to be great in 2019...
Pray hard and wishes all of us here have a good 2019..
Lost_AA
We are all examples of this Elle .. xx
ReplyDeleteReady to start a new year, wow, that season is over! Our strongest Steam. I read your Christmas post. My heart ached so much for you. I'm out of country so I take my I-pad and tried to reply. Didn't work. Next I tried a new IP address to respond. Didn't work. I tried a computer in hot spot, near a volcano, no it didn't work. So I feel like I need to write what I was going to write after Christmas. You can tell me to go to hell and back that I don't know shit about you or your marriage. That is ok but we always tell each other the truth no matter if you are going to like me or not. Ok, here goes. My observation differed from the other responses. Your 2nd Dday brought you to knees and lower. You were totally devastated. Your heart was broken in a million pieces. That is why I say on Christmas day, your H may have been struggling with his addiction. Who paints on Christmas Day. I would if I need to used up energy and to stop me from doing something else. Cheaters have triggers too. Like me we will never know the entire truth so maybe Christmas reminded him of his addiction? I thought painting you in was symbolic. He was struggling. So then in a few days you have the Christmas you missed. What made him turn around so quickly? What did he do that he couldn't on Christmas day but several days after? I just don't want you to be in a false recovery. I would take his computer to a computer shop so they could validate where he has been on the web. I would tell him, you fooled me twice so in order to believe you I'm going to take your computer to a specialist who can verify you are telling the truth.. You H is the sneakiest of all the cheaters I read about on this site. He is smart like that. I think he was struggling with his addiction and could tell you because of shame or guilt so he had 2 choice work through it by painting or his other go to choice. No sex for SA? Has there been way to bridge that gap. I understand where you are coming from and recover has that part too. Are you still in a way punishing him, making him pay? Yes, he deserves that and more but at the expensive of your marriage you are trying to rebuild. I don't where you are in the 2nd healing process but he damn lucky to have any chance. I just would be more observant, validating electronics and making sure he has stopped being so sneaky. Just my opinion but the red lights went off when I read your post. All my love to you, no kidding. Ok, tell to butt out.
ReplyDeleteSS1 I read your Christmas story. You are a good person. You took a terrible experience for your children. You let them work through it. You turned something so negative into something positive and a life lesson. You are highly respected by me, you had every right to break down but you were brave. Love to you
ReplyDeleteLLP thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Its so heard to know if i am doing OK for my kids, but I feel like I handled this situation the best way I knew how and without going crazy trying to fix it. How do you fix a mess like that!? I'm feeling pretty burnt out right now, but no surprise. I felt like this most of the time when living with my ex. It doesn't surprise me that he sucks the life out of me when I have to deal with him now. I think I did OK though. My girl drove herself back up to college for the semester. The next morning I got a text from her saying that she missed me. I'm calling that a win. :)
ReplyDeleteAww that’s so nice of your daughter .. that’s def a win honey xx
ReplyDelete