Badass Survival Guide

I might have gasped out loud when I read this, from She Who Must Not Be Named, on Twitter: 

Two years ago today H filed for divorce, just weeks after starting an affair. He abandoned us and moved in w/AP. He cut off all $, faked my ID and closed my cc accts and sued ME. Looking at where he is, & we are, today I never imagined then that today was possible.
He has been in SA [sex addiction] recovery for nearly one year. With therapy and hard work he has become an exemplary husband and father. Our communication is frequent and healthy. I had given up hope but, despite his bizarre and hurtful actions, he never did.

Which prompted me to ask...how? I mean, what a shift, right? How does anyone – how does any marriage – move from divorce and lawsuits to love and grace and "frequent and healthy communication"? And so I asked. She Who Must Not Be Named responded. 
Here is a Twitter love story in eight short acts. Thank-you, She Who Must Not Be Named, for sharing your survival guide with us, which is largely about valuing and trusting yourself. May it light the way forward for so many others:

1/ I decided to invest in myself. I pursued more community projects, volunteer opportunities, and additional university classes. I made sure to have regularly scheduled nights out with friends. In short, I decided to give myself what he couldn't or wouldn't.2/ He came back after a few months and we started to try and work it out but I didn't feel like he was fully invested in the process. My deadline was our 10 year anniversary. If I still felt that way I was going to file for divorce and move on.3/ Six months before that anniversary, another d-day happened - 1 year after the first d-day. This time he told me everything. Despite his shame and fear he showed me his true self for the first time. He didn't realize it but I did immediately - he was a sex addict.4/It was simultaneously a relief and another layer of trauma to try and untangle. Since that day I've had the philosophy of leading my life to where I want it to be. He can either keep up and stay or fall behind and leave.5/When I have a difficult day I remind myself that he HAS been keeping up and that I'm doing a great job forging ahead on my path at my pace, waiting for no one. I've purposely created a laser-focused vision on building *my* future.6/ Seeing the impact I'm making for underprivileged children in my community, my academic achievements, and participating in my kids' lives is filling my cup. There was a point where H chose to step up and keep up. Even if he hadn't, I would still be on my own path.7/ This process got me unstuck, keeps me moving forward with purpose, and has let me reclaim my value which felt so lost 2 years ago. Every day I choose that commitment to myself with intention and reflect on the gains that I (and we) have made.8/ I'm also going to add that I'm a petty bitch that wishes the AP, aka "Jabba the Slut", gets gout...so I'm not full on Dalai Lama like yet.

When I messaged her to say thank-you for permission to share this, she added:

I see so many betrayed spouses afraid to move forward because they are worried that their betrayer will not move with them. Getting over the fear of moving forward, possibly alone, was the hardest thing for me to overcome but the most rewarding and powerful choice I could have made.

(She Who Must Not Be Named says she's a frequent reader of this site, though she hasn't commented. She also told me called Encyclopedia for the Betrayed "a very powerful tool for validating my feelings and helping me build my strength", which warms my heart. She is also, clearly, a badass warrior.)