I love what this quote stands for. Elizabeth Edwards' own story of betrayal is so sad to me (what all she was forced to go through, and then to have it be public too). When I was obsessed with the OW's Facebook page way back when, she made this quote her profile pic and I was infuriated!! The quote was ruined for me as I had to wonder if she were a betrayed spouse too (I still dont know). Now when I see the quote I add an ending in my head I don't like. "...she adjusted her sails and rammed her boat into someone else's on purpose." Of course my assessment of her use of this quote is only one possible narrative I made up. I don't know what "wind didn't blow her way." I adjusted my sails differently... this I know is true. I try to stay in my own story now as much as I can.
I see myself in this quote. 24 years of marriage and there it was a 4 month affair which ended as quick as it started once he was caught.....a co-worker.....My instinct kicked in. Fight or flight....I chose fight. I was not going to concede and give up on my marriage. He did this not me and Was his guilt not mine and now I was calling the shots. All text to this woman where deleted and her number blocked. This was a part time retirement job working a day and half a week. He is 70 and she is 60.,,,, I am 68.,,,,Friends of hers from work where pressuring him to quit because he broke her heart when he suddenly dropped her. He refused. I agreed with him not go quit. Those same friends sent me a disparaging letter defending this lady and asking me to make my husband quit. This lady could no longer go to work as it was to hard for her to see him. Her friends felt it was all his fault and he should be the one to quit I do not take well to being bullied so I decided to go to take a job at the same place.....This lady has not shown up to work for a few weeks. It soon became clear at a safety meeting who this ladies friends where. Their body language gave it away. They figured out I was the “Wife” and sent a family member to hunt me down in the work place to try and have a conversation with me. I was having none of it and told them so in that I was now working there on all shifts and that I knew they where pressuring my husband to quit. The nasty letter I received only validated their actions..,,,,Yes I am angry my husband did this to me but he is worth fighting for.,,,, he hads and continued to show great remorse and is trying very hard to repair himself. Communication is key for us. I on the other hand will work on my own thoughts and where they lead. My thoughts are my enemy for the moment. We have set no timelines on when I will recover. I have good days and bad and I tell him about them so we can help each other to heal......
I love what this quote stands for. Elizabeth Edwards' own story of betrayal is so sad to me (what all she was forced to go through, and then to have it be public too). When I was obsessed with the OW's Facebook page way back when, she made this quote her profile pic and I was infuriated!! The quote was ruined for me as I had to wonder if she were a betrayed spouse too (I still dont know). Now when I see the quote I add an ending in my head I don't like. "...she adjusted her sails and rammed her boat into someone else's on purpose." Of course my assessment of her use of this quote is only one possible narrative I made up. I don't know what "wind didn't blow her way." I adjusted my sails differently... this I know is true. I try to stay in my own story now as much as I can.
ReplyDeleteI see myself in this quote. 24 years of marriage and there it was a 4 month affair which ended as quick as it started once he was caught.....a co-worker.....My instinct kicked in. Fight or flight....I chose fight. I was not going to concede and give up on my marriage. He did this not me and Was his guilt not mine and now I was calling the shots. All text to this woman where deleted and her number blocked. This was a part time retirement job working a day and half a week. He is 70 and she is 60.,,,, I am 68.,,,,Friends of hers from work where pressuring him to quit because he broke her heart when he suddenly dropped her. He refused. I agreed with him not go quit. Those same friends sent me a disparaging letter defending this lady and asking me to make my husband quit. This lady could no longer go to work as it was to hard for her to see him. Her friends felt it was all his fault and he should be the one to quit I do not take well to being bullied so I decided to go to take a job at the same place.....This lady has not shown up to work for a few weeks. It soon became clear at a safety meeting who this ladies friends where. Their body language gave it away. They figured out I was the “Wife” and sent a family member to hunt me down in the work place to try and have a conversation with me. I was having none of it and told them so in that I was now working there on all shifts and that I knew they where pressuring my husband to quit. The nasty letter I received only validated their actions..,,,,Yes I am angry my husband did this to me but he is worth fighting for.,,,, he hads and continued to show great remorse and is trying very hard to repair himself. Communication is key for us. I on the other hand will work on my own thoughts and where they lead. My thoughts are my enemy for the moment. We have set no timelines on when I will recover. I have good days and bad and I tell him about them so we can help each other to heal......
ReplyDelete