Celebrations of any kind are tough when you're in pain. My wish for you is that, for the mothers in our midst, you can take comfort in your children, that you can find gratitude for their presence, and that, even if you're wiping up spills and tears, you remember that this is just a moment in time. Your heart will heal and you will have wisdom and compassion when your own children's hearts are broken. You will be their soft place to land.
If your mother's day today cannot be "happy" exactly, let it be a moment of pause in your pain.
Thank you, Elle. I really needed to read this today. I am one of the broken-hearted moms trying to get through this my first post d-day (58 days now) Mother's Day. It is also the anniversary of our engagement, which makes it particularly painful. But there is much to be thankful for on this Mother's Day, including all of the brave women on this site that are mothers or have mothers or both. You provide so much comfort and encouragement with your words. Reflecting back to a recent post Elle wrote about celebrating our wins in the midst of a pandemic, I am taking a pause from my pain today to celebrate some Mother's Day wins. WIN: I am able to experience a love that is so pure and deep and true every time I hear my son's carefree joyous laughter. It reminds me that the world is not all bad after all, a reminder for which I am deeply grateful. WIN: "Mom, I already brushed my teeth - look!" WIN: I also brushed my teeth again today! Meema
ReplyDeleteMeema,
DeleteThanks so much for sharing that. I am SO glad you could cherish those wins. Your son sounds amazing. And so is his mother. ;)
This is just what I needed to see today Elle. A moment of pause in my pain... everyday I am grateful for my kids but going about today with a smile on my face was particularly hard. ❤️
ReplyDeleteThat pause is where your healing can take root.
DeleteThis weekend marks 5 years since dday. Yep, i found out mothers day weekend! Im still here. Im still standing. Im wounded not broken. Im much grateful for my kids. Alot has changed... some for better, some for different and I a myself am greatly changed. Id much rather live authentic then striving for perfectionism. It will always be there. Its in the rearview mirror now not front and center. It doesnt consume me. My life is in color again. Im living. Im kind to myself and i sometimes even put me first even! Imagine that. You will survive you will prevail and you are all amazing warrior princesses. Happy Mother's Day.
ReplyDeleteWounded,
Delete"My life is in color again." That is fantastic. I am absolutely delighted for you. May we all live our lives in full color.
My kids all called me and sent me a gift. All are middle aged and it made me feel so good like yeah it was worth it. I thought of my mom who is dead, thank goodness. She was so mean to me but nicer to my sister. She was cheated on. I loved my dad so much. We didn't talk about cheating in our family at all so I didn't realize how devastated she must have been. I chose a cheater over her. Our life changed after the affair all because of her. My dad seemed the same to me. I think she probably resented, I loved my dad more, he was my soft place to fall. She just couldn't see over that. Why didn't she say something to me? Why didn't she explain anything to me? It would not change my love for my cheater dad but it would have made it easier for our relationship. Too bad she just couldn't turn that corner. My sister and I hope we don't meet her in heaven. We don't think we will. Mothers day is a little sad for me.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry LLP. You carry so much pain from your childhood. I hope one day you're able to lay it all down. I don't know why your mother didn't tell you. Shame? To protect you? I don't know. But it's interesting that you can now recognize how much pain she must have been in. As my mother said to me once, "People love us the best they can." Their best sucks sometimes. But it can help to release us from the wish that things should have been different.
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