Well...except that none of us does know what the future holds. When I think of all the energy/time I've spent on things that never ended up happening, I realize what a waste it was. And even if we know something unpleasant is coming, if we can't do anything about it, then feeling anxious about it is, again, a waste of time/energy. Which is where we can learn to release expectations, control what we can (ourselves) and try and let go of what we can't control.
I swear some of mine is just from peri-menopause. Like I'll be feeling fine and then all of a sudden my blood sugar takes a dip and I feel all shaky and sweaty and my heart is racing and its uncomfortable like a panic attack, except I'm not panicking about anything as far as I can tell. But in those cases I can notice the symptoms and not run away with a story about them. Still bloody uncomforable. On the flip side, when I am having real anxiety, it is usually because I am fortune telling, ie weaving stories about how something is going to play out that really I have no way of knowing. The surest proof of that is looking at the past and all the things I "knew" to be true (good or bad) and that I was just completely wrong. It is possible to be 100% sure and also 100% wrong about what we think we know. I try not to get too wrapped around the axle about the future.
Love your expression, "fortune telling". Reminds me of Brené Brown's "dress-rehearsing tragedy". Both speak to our certainty that something bad is going to happen and we'd damn well better be ready for it. And then...it doesn't happen. Or it does and we don't react in any way like we planned to. Either way, it's an exhausting waste of time and energy.
credit for "Fortune Telling" to my therapist from our convo yesterday as I was digging into my fears about telling my ex no about anything. it was a tough session.
It comes from facts. Knowing what the future holds.
ReplyDeleteWell...except that none of us does know what the future holds. When I think of all the energy/time I've spent on things that never ended up happening, I realize what a waste it was. And even if we know something unpleasant is coming, if we can't do anything about it, then feeling anxious about it is, again, a waste of time/energy. Which is where we can learn to release expectations, control what we can (ourselves) and try and let go of what we can't control.
DeleteI swear some of mine is just from peri-menopause. Like I'll be feeling fine and then all of a sudden my blood sugar takes a dip and I feel all shaky and sweaty and my heart is racing and its uncomfortable like a panic attack, except I'm not panicking about anything as far as I can tell. But in those cases I can notice the symptoms and not run away with a story about them. Still bloody uncomforable.
ReplyDeleteOn the flip side, when I am having real anxiety, it is usually because I am fortune telling, ie weaving stories about how something is going to play out that really I have no way of knowing. The surest proof of that is looking at the past and all the things I "knew" to be true (good or bad) and that I was just completely wrong. It is possible to be 100% sure and also 100% wrong about what we think we know. I try not to get too wrapped around the axle about the future.
Love your expression, "fortune telling". Reminds me of Brené Brown's "dress-rehearsing tragedy". Both speak to our certainty that something bad is going to happen and we'd damn well better be ready for it. And then...it doesn't happen. Or it does and we don't react in any way like we planned to. Either way, it's an exhausting waste of time and energy.
Deletecredit for "Fortune Telling" to my therapist from our convo yesterday as I was digging into my fears about telling my ex no about anything. it was a tough session.
Delete