At Lynn Less Pain's request, we're going to create a Christmas list for the OW. Maybe not what she wants but most definitely what she deserves.
Unleash your inner Mean Girl, ladies!
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| Send her a lump of, ummm, coal: https://www.amazon.com/Lump-Coal-Glacial-Blue-Gift/dp/B00R28HW8Q |
For her birthday I wanted to have a billboard posted with her picture and something along the lines of "keep your husband's away ladies" ... WH was out of town and I considered taking his $50k "pride and joy" car and parking it in her driveway, locking it and walking away. I thought about mailing flyers to all of her family members telling them what she did. I was going to post yard signs around her neighborhood with "do you know this whore."
ReplyDeleteThat was 16 months ago.
Today - I wouldn't give her anything. She's already taken enough from me (or more like my dumbass husband gave her more than enough of me since he's the one who did this "to me.").
I didn't have to print flyers. I told her boyfriend and then her father overheard me screaming at her and he heard her called the dreaded c word. It was really a day to remember. Did I feel bad that I saw him crying later? Nope. Did I feel bad for making her cry? Nope.
DeleteI think when you knowingly have sex with someones else's husband all bets are off. Especially when you are "friends" with her. Payback has no shelf life.
DeleteI think the best Christmas present would be for the women in her office, her coworkers to send her a card that says "We know." For the women at her gym to send her a card that says "We know." For the women in her daughter's and son's class to send her a card that says, " We know." And on and on...
The worse part of all of this shit is that she walks around unscathed. People don't know because we don't tell. We live a secret. A lie. And that dear warriors is what I fear will eat me alive.
I am new to this situation and I thank you for this idea. It is nice to read everyone’s comments as my situation has made me feel very alone. Since I am embarrassed that this has happened, I have been suffering in silence for the past 3 months after finding out he messed with another woman and a baby due next month with her. It is life crushing.
DeleteI nearly died laughing when I saw this. I had found on line a company that would send dead flowers that smelled like rotting fish when you opened the box. I figured it was perfect since my h said he felt dirty after sleeping with her and he couldn’t get the metaphorical stench of her off him.
ReplyDeleteCathy
Love it!!!
ReplyDelete1) In the box of poo, I’d put a mirror so she can have a good hard look at herself. The piece of shit that she is.
2) A picture of my ex and I on our wedding day-young, happy and so in love
3) on her front door I’d leave a huge piece of project paper with A picture of my family on top, followed by a picture of a house destroyed then a picture of her and my ex with written “home wrecking whores”
....decorated with tinsel, you know, the shiny cheap stuff that everyone has
Hugs and laughter
Gabby xo
I’d like to spit in her face for the 2nd time : ) .. never knew I had it in me lol .. xx
ReplyDeleteI would collect my two big farm dog poop for a week. Delighting in all the pick up work. I would put all 10 pounds of it in a 1 pound bag on her door step. (the twist tie on the bag will be real loose)
ReplyDeleteI'm going to fill out every card that is in a magazine with bill me later. All the magazines no woman would read.
ReplyDeleteThank you Elle so much! My thought was this is no way to be malicious or threatening just funny.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen those Christmas tee shirts, one tee shirt meant for a man says where is my HO? The other tee shirt made for a woman has HO. I mean the name is already on it right?
ReplyDeleteElle,
ReplyDeleteI have literally been struggling the last few days with the intense desire to send the OW a Christmas gift, so thanks for the request, Lynn Less Pain! I'm going to mull it over for awhile. If posting it here doesn't do the trick, I may have to follow through!
I so want to get a small, artificial Christmas tree, decorate it with condoms, and send it to her office with a card saying:
"Ho.Ho.Ho."
Am I spelling syphilis correctly? :o)
ReplyDeleteI love you Elle and Lynn Less Pain!
ReplyDeleteI’m boxing up the biggest fake penis with a note to please use this next time you want a married man for sex! Enjoy!
HAHAH LLP what a fun idea. A little imaginary vengeance is good for the soul, I think. Its a bit of a steam valve. I love that the coal is in a Tiffany's style box.
ReplyDeleteAt some point, way back when, someone had the idea of sending the OW a Christmas card that said "I wanted to thank you personally for all you've done for my family." I love the totally passive aggressive nature of this and the fact that it is phrased in such a way that you can't be charged with harassment.
Also a flaming bag of poo on her doorstep.
A glitter bomb. She'll be finding glitter everywhere for years. I hope it chafes.
Lots of anti aging products
Potato of the month club
The clapper - subtle suggestion that she has the clap or you wish she did.
A copy of the movie "He's just not that into you."
A copy of the book "crafting with cat hair"
A giant bag of candy dicks
Varicose vein cream
"Maybe you touched your genitals" hand sanitizer
There's a place that will anonymously ship horse manure...
The annoying teddy bear... "This seemingly sweet gift is a monster in disguise. Don’t let this teddy’s sweet looks fool you, this annoying teddy bear sings “Happy Birthday” for up to three hours non-stop. According to the official website, there is no off button and “the only way to get it stop singing is to destroy it (or throw it outside until the batteries die).”"
XOXO ss1
That was me! My d-day was December 10 (which is Monday if anyone wants to send me a gift certificate to the spa ;) ) so I was still seething that Christmas (and for a few more).
DeleteInside the Christmas card I included a really lovely photo of my husband and our three kids. Thanked her for "all you did for my family this year", thinking that if she showed it to management --she worked for my husband -- she would just look crazy. A friend of mine in the office, who acted as my mole, told me she saw the card in the garbage.
And these ideas are awesome, everyone!!
It's after 12:30 am and I'm sitting at my computer laughing by myself!
DeleteI would like to send her a festive potted little hemlock tree wrapped in red shiny Christmas paper. And include a little cookbook suggesting what to do with the hemlock, in the event she doesn't know!
True confession - one year, after she married, I sent her husband a postal card from Savannah (where I was passing through) and I wrote "Merry Christmas, Darling. I miss you" and signed it "Love always, C".
I may be old but I haven't lost my mean streak!
Carol the First
Hmmmm....I may have several more ideas since I am soooooo generous especially to those that deserve it, but the first thing that popped into my head was that I would give her a gift card for drop-in childcare. That way, when she had to work on Saturdays at the massage parlor, her daughter would not be stuck in the back room with coloring books while her mother was performing sex acts for money just down the hall. I just don't think prostitutes should take their children to their workplace. One of the first times my husband met this woman's daughter, she asked if he had a photo of his wife and if she could see it.
ReplyDeleteI think it would be a healthier environment for this seven-year-old girl to be somewhere else while mommy is "working". Apparently, my husband thought so, too. One time last December when I was attending a Christmas play with our daughter, he was going to take our son out for a fun afternoon. They went to the science museum, dinner, and a bookstore. Thing is, he took the Chinese Massage Parlor Whore's daughter along, too. Field Trip! No worries that our son could reveal his secrets. He can't communicate. He has Autism. But, my husband doesn't think that his behavior had any impact on our children. (The photo I found from the science museum that day where that kid is holding my son's hand made me sick.)
Since an STD is already taken, I would give her incontinence and socially unacceptable flatulence, heavy dark facial hair and her boob job would pop!
ReplyDeleteKarma
ReplyDeleteGem, I can picture your "gift"! What a great revenge! (in our minds, of course!)
DeleteCarol, the First
I’d like to send her a dildo to her place of work and written inside ..use this instead of chasing someone else’s husband you filthy whore ..and when she opens it in front of her colleagues they will know..
ReplyDeletePlease post mine as Anon.. I didn’t know how thanks ..
ReplyDeleteA lifetime supply of trial size mouthwashes (Gotta have fresh breath after giving blow jobs on your lunch break.)
ReplyDeleteClip-in bangs to try to hide that HUGE forehead
Frequent bouts of uncontrollable diarrhea
“Eat a Bag of Dicks” delivery (Can they deliver these once a month FOREVER? ��)
An obnoxious yard sign with something catchy like “Merry Christmas! I’m a HO HO HO!”
A GIANT box of karma
I think I will report two of them to the kentucky board of nursing for violating the nursing code of conduct..they really frown on alcoholism and engaging in high risk deviant sexual lifestyles...I would love to be a fly on the wall when they have to sit before the board and explain themselves...and report one to her employer for using her government email secret security clearance for her personal use and fantasy football/racing gambling pools..
ReplyDeleteI just want them to know that I know (they don't even know I know), and I want them to feel badly about it. (I have no idea how they feel about it). I want them to feel badly for years and every time the date comes on their calendars, I want them to feel fear and dread. I want them to see pain on their spouse's faces (their spouses don't know). I want their kids to know and loose respect for their moms. I want them to get fired.
ReplyDeleteann - up until this weekend I would have sat nodding in complete agreement with you. I'd love LOVE LOVE more than anything to know that the OW that my WH inflicted into my life would feel all of what you said and MORE!
DeleteBut, see ... I'm the OW from years past. My AP's wife suspected but as far as I know, has never been introduced to this secret sisterhood. I have since learned that I was a long LONG line of OWs and that this guy has some real issues.
I can 100% tell you I have NO idea how I justified my behavior during that time period - both in terms of sleeping with another woman's husband and for sleeping around on my husband.
I hadn't seen my AP in almost 2 years. I learned last year that he actually moved away but, I also know he still have family in the area. I've spent countless seconds, minutes, hours ... worrying about running into my WH's OW. I've avoided areas and have missed out on things because of the fear. There are areas of town that can bring me to a sobbing mess. But truthfully, NEVER once since I confessed to my affair from 5 years ago did I worry about running into mine.
Fast forward to yesterday at lunch. Turn my head and bam. There he is. With his ENTIRE family.
Waitress sat him and the ENTIRE family at the tables next to ours.
Insert a shit load of shame. Insert complete embarrassment. Insert ...
I hope that every single OW that inflicted this hell on each of you feels all of it and more ... it's a SHITTY feeling. And one that is completely COMPLETELY deserving.
Some OWs may never feel bad for what they've done. Some may still be in denial that they were entitled to whatever it was that HE gave or promised them. Maybe they believe the lies they were told ... or the lies they told themselves (most likely). I think it's human nature to try to justify our poor decisions. But one day ... one day Karma (you're welcome Gem) will come back to smack them in the face.
I'm living proof.
Anon 12/10 I appreciate your sharing this. Brave and vulnerable. And it helps. :)
DeleteAnon 12/10 - Thank you for posting. As you can imagine OW rarely post on this site. Did your husband betray you? So you have triggers too as the OW? referring to sobbing mess. No disrespect but that makes me feel good to know the OW suffers. I know that is creepy but how I feel at this moment. Did you ever tell your H?
DeleteLLP I’m both. I’ve written about my affair on other posts but that day I was feeling especially raw and didn’t put my name on the post.
DeleteMy H knows. I told him the night I found out about his second affair (the most recent one). I sympathized with him under the original lie he told me.
When my AP walked in I immediately told my H. I finished up and left as soon as possible. I didn’t engage with anyone in his party (even though I’ve known his family for 20+ years).
It was a shitty feeling.
Oh, this is a fun post. These are great ideas. What would I give her? Let's see ...
ReplyDelete* A copy of "Everybody Poops," the children's book. And just paste her face on every toilet, kid, and arse in the book.
* A postcard of the location where she'd planned to marry my husband (before that plan fell through) with the caption "Loving our recommitment ceremony! Wish you were here! J/K! We're glad you're 2,000 miles away from us! Eat dirt!" beneath it.
* A box of fleas. Because she's a dog.
* Or a box of broken light bulbs. Because that's how bright she is.
* A festive ornament that has an adequate four-letter descriptor of her in big, sparkly letters and a note that says, "This ornament matches your obnoxious personality!" With a dictionary so she can look up the big words.
* The board game LOSER! - But replace all the game parts with just a photo of her taped to the inside.
* A t-shirt that says "Crazy Rat Lady" on it. Or maybe one that says "Give me a treat and I'll roll over." I can't decide.
* An instructional video about rhinoplasty. Because apparently she's really sensitive about her honker.
* An enema kit. Because she's so full of ______!
Oh, this really did bring out my mean girl! maybe I should list appropriate gifts more often. Rolling on the floor. -
I love you all for these posts! I love the humor although it will take some time for me to think of something funny since I still feel a lot of disgust and fury towards that Whore-ible Mistake. My D-Day was one year ago on Dec 3 (more on that "antiversary" in another post - it was quite beautiful). I never met the POS but she works at a related non-profit, and because the movement we're in is such a small world, I occasionally hear her name spoken or see her soaking up accolades (social media is a bitch even when you're not trolling anymore). She continues to try to insert herself in my h's world (OUR world) by chumming up to our friends and colleagues or sending him completely unnecessary "work" emails (they don't even work together or in the same company!) which he doesn't respond to. When she couldn't break through the wall my h put up to her after D-Day, she eventually got angry and decided that she was a victim of the MeToo movement and made veiled threats. I'm writing all of this because I feel a lot of anger at the injustice that her wretched, morally bankrupt character is kept a secret while she perpetuates the persona of being so good, caring, socially responsible, and all about feminist sisterhood. What I wish she'd get for Xmas is some "fame" by having her photo and name show up on the homewreckers.com website. She is a serial home-wrecker...This ain't her first Hodeo so she really should be given a featured spot on that site. I won't do it but I sure as hell wish her current husband's cheated-on ex-wife had. It wouldn't have stopped my h from having an affair with some other damaged narcissist since she was just an ugly symptom of his own damage, but still...
ReplyDeleteI'll keep thinking of gift ideas - it is a satisfying exercise :)
PS. Hope you and your husband had a really good day today, Elle.
Somebody, I feel a lot of that disgust and anger at the hidden aspect of the OW's affair with my WH, too. Both of them work in a field in which their "reputations mean everything," and for his sake and the sake of our healing, I didn't say anything ... I have only recently been revealing her real name to the people closest to me. But the secrecy and protection for him also results in protection for HER, and I hate it some days. I hate it. Dealing with my feelings and bitterness about that has been such a large part of the trauma and healing - so much larger than I could have imagined. I'm curious how others have dealt/are dealing with this. :(
DeleteAnonymous, I understand so much and I'm hugging you from afar. It has been very traumatic to me as well. While my husband felt shame, remorse, and revulsion at what he'd done to me (and to her husband), she never expressed anything but pain and woe for herself - except for the text she sent after dday "empathizing" with my h saying that she knew the hell HE was going through. I don't use the term narcissist lightly. When her 'You need to talk to me and hear about all the pain I'M going through' emails weren't responded to in the way she wanted, she got angry and accusatory. Her husband has no idea how many times she tried to get my husband to devise a work-around to the total transparency he offered me (without me asking). There are days when it's just so emotionally exhausting to accept that this interloper might not ever be completely gone from our world - a world and a movement she only entered into a few years ago but that we've been in for a long, long time. I haven't yet felt I can tell good friends in this particular circle about her because she's so fucked up/ unpredictable. And I imagine her husband now believes her revised story that she was a victim of a predator - even though her husband cheated on his wife with her and left his wife when this Piece of Shit threatened suicide. I know all of this because he wrote all of that in an email threatening my h with blackmail (and then later apologized for those drunken threats). Suffice it to say, they are one damaged, fucked up couple which means they are dangerous. Of course there are times I can't believe my h brought all that poison into my/our life. He can't believe it, either.
DeleteLong before DDay, I had done a lot of personal work to live with integrity and honesty. I know keeping this secret is for protection but it also comes at an emotional price that I'm trying to heal. Like you, I want to know how others deal or dealt with the work-related Affair Partner situation. Sending peace and love...
Somebody and Anonymous,
DeleteMy husband cheated with his assistant in an industry where reputation matters so I, too, kept mostly mum about it. Over the years, I've opened up to more people but nobody in his office except the friend of mine who works there and who knew almost from day 1. And yes, there is a cost to me -- ethically, emotionally -- to living with someone of a secret. My children don't know, for instance, which has been harder as they've grown older and have commented on friends who've cheated on partners, or other parents they've known who've cheated/divorced. I've always said I'll never lie to them if they ask me but I haven't volunteered the info. Some day, perhaps.
And yes, Somebody, most of these people are pretty toxic. Which is why they're cheating. If my husband hadn't cleaned up his act, he'd likely be with wife #2 (or #3) wondering why his own life was such a mess. We either use our mistakes to take personal inventory and fix what needs fixing or we treat our mistakes as if we're victims.
1. A picture of my family waving. The caption would say, "Sex can't compete with this you dumb shit"
ReplyDelete2. An album of STD pictures.
3. A dump load truck of gravel, at the end of the driveway.
4. In chalk written on her house, "Only screws married men."
5. Type in her email address for every pop up.
The Christmas card would on the front Say HO HO HO and inside would be a small gift. A sleep masks that said "I sleep with strangers.". But I am afraid I would have to buy too many and I am not willing to spend any time effort, or money on any of them...
ReplyDeleteApologies to anyone I offend as not my intention and completely understand the above and the fun of it and think it’s a great release of steam, but can I ask what the gift list is to the partner who was with the OW no matter the circumstances?
ReplyDeleteAnon 12/12/18 - it's one of those situations where I can call my mom names ... but don't you dare. It's easier to wish ill will on the OW than it is on my WH because if he's suffering then so are my kids and so would I.
DeleteDo not think for one second that I don't hold him solely responsible for his affair and for making me collateral damage. And believe me I'd LOVE for him to suffer - but my WH is still in the trenches with me and from all appearances is suffering. There is no gift I would give him that would ever do that more than what he's already done.
Now ... there are some WHs on here I'd LOVE to create a little present for ... those who were the ultimate cheaters and little boys who threw a grenade and then weren't capable of cleaning up the chaos.
LOL - now give me 5 minutes ... I'm sure my sentiments could change and I'd have a long list of wonderful gifts for my OW and my WH ... I'm a minute by minute person right now.
Absolutely no offence taken, I'm sure. Certainly not by me! Pretty sure I gave my husband and big fat NOTHING that first year right after D-Day.
DeleteThank you so much for your honest answers, and I completely get the sentiment that Kimberly states about I can say things about family members but if someone else does watch out.
ReplyDeleteKimberly, I say embrace the minute by minute changes in feelings and thoughts, as I think it’s better to get it out and know you are all over the place than pretending all is fine.
I used to walk into a room and literally state that I was all over the place and tell my friends to hide the chocolate cake and maybe the knives!
Ironically, on a separate note, my friend was an OW and let me tell you, even after what I had been through with my own OW-husband situation, nothing broke me more than seeing the absolute pain and anguish on her face as she knew during the Holiday season she was alone and he was back with his family surrounded by people. So my honest advice as a gift for the OW, is a gift of not giving her another thought and enjoy your family and the holidays and making every moment count, as believe me she is thinking about you every moment of everyday and is wishing she was you and she is hurting. So make sure you are the best you so her thoughts of you and wanting to be you are more than validated.
I anonymously sent Ho bag, a lovely little care package. I include a necklace on Amazon that had a testicles pendant with the matching key ring. Since she emasculates him so much, not only can he not watch football in her house, she calls him on his cell phone when he goes anywhere else to make sure he’s not watching football, and he listens. so I figured she should just wear his balls around her neck where they belong. And then I sent her a box of dollar store, pregnancy, tests, some condoms, yeast, medication, a pamphlet on STDs, and knee pads with a sticky note attached that says “from when you’re on your knees, and don’t want to get rug burn, and some edible underwear. Totally wish I could have seen her face. But my ex-husband asked me if I sent her any gifts lately and said no. So I know she got it lol
ReplyDelete